Blog Posts

We are not alone.

5/19/2016

Our days now included the meal schedules. David was placed on a soft diet such as applesauce, yogurt, thickened water, gelatin, etc. He would gradually be introduced to puree and then solids. I fed him every meal and monitored that he would swallow every bite. One time, his right cheek got swollen and we figured it had been an allergy reaction to possibly pineapple and was relieved when it subsided. He was handling the food so well that was upgraded to puree in no time.

The hardest task was convincing Eddy that David wasn’t ready for a “Malta” and chicken empanada or the ham croquettes which Ana Carolina would bring him from “la cafeteria – The Sandwich King”. The only outside food that got the approval was the “flan” that Jorge insisted he had to have when he was in town. We all hoped that David would continue to improve so that he could enjoy the traditional holiday thanksgiving dinner, which was approaching quickly.

During this time, the Psychiatrist stopped 2 prescriptions including one that is prescribed for Parkinson, which could cause hallucinations. We were moving forward.

Family and special friends visited and brought the joy, the stories and special treats. My sister Noemy and brother in law Hector would bring me delicious lunch and coffee and a tray of special treats for the nursing staff when they were visiting. As it was their tradition, they would coordinate and gather all the children, aunts and cousins to have dinner together at favorite spots in the area.

Other special family visits such as Uncle Mayito and Tia Tere, Uncle Ruben, Manny and Aunt Flor would witness the constant progress.

As we celebrated that my sister Gaby would be close to us as she settled in from Orlando to her new place, about 20 minutes away from Miami, it broke our hearts to say goodbye to CNA Norma who was leaving the nursing home. It was a roller-coaster of emotions. We felt so blessed surrounded by so many beautiful people who helped us in our journey.

One afternoon, as I returned from a coffee brake to watch David in the physical therapy room, therapists Julissa and Harold mentioned that David had been fighting with them and explained that confusion and agitation was part of the recovery process from a severe TBI.

Agitation after TBI is an excessive global psychomotor activity, inappropriate to the environment, and may be a manifestation of delirium but frequently exists independently of it. It occurs in up to 70% of TBI patients and it often stems from disorientation and over stimulation. It can be very challenging to manage these agitation episodes. Because it may result in physical harm to the patient, it becomes very stressful for everyone involved. Before medicating an agitated TBI patient, efforts are made to eliminate over stimulation such as limiting visitors, limit lighting and in extreme cases - physically restraining the patient if necessary. After an episode, which can last a few minutes to a few hours, the TBI patient becomes exhausted.

The next morning, as I was feeding breakfast to David, he started yelling. He was having an agitation episode. It became frightening and frustrating. He still had food in his mouth and I quickly removed it hoping he wouldn’t close his mouth and bite me or choke on it. He kept yelling and moving in his bed. I tried to hold him to offer comfort but all of his body was shaking and moving. It was hard to watch him battle this agitation episode on his own. I knew I had to wait it out with him.

Ana Carolina came in a few minutes later and saw my agony. She insisted I leave him with her for the rest of the day so I could get some rest at her place. Nurse Rose came in and insisted on Ana’s proposal and I left. I prayed and cried all the way back to the apartment. There was no room for setbacks. I kept asking myself how long would the agitation phase last and what would be the ramifications? Masses were being offered. People who had not prayed in years were now doing so for David. We were not alone. For the next few weeks, I would just sit next to him and hold his hand - when it was possible - and waited for it to stop. It reminded me of the storming episodes back at the hospital. They finally became less frequent and then one day it ended.

A few nights later, as I prayed for God's will to be done, an overpowering emotion of us moving back home soon - got a hold of me. I knew God was in charge and because he makes every - and any plan perfect, I would wait for the signs and not become anxious.

David started moving the right leg more often. The removal of the feeding tube was being considered as he continued to tolerate the food and kept gaining weight.

Now that David was eating, I learned he was able to travel out of the nursing home to the mall, a park or anywhere we wanted with a special permission. I arranged a visit to the transportation office to get the paperwork and David’s ID in order to do so. I was thrilled just imagining how he would react. Our first trip would be to Eddy and Ana’s apartment and then probably to church. He would like that.

The physical therapy sessions became very productive. David could follow all the commands, such as moving his trunk forward and backwards as they requested. Stacy, the speech therapist took David on a date to the vending machine so that he would count the amount of money he needed to buy a chocolate chip cupcake and an orange soda as part of his cognitive therapy and food texture upgrade. He enjoyed every minute of it.

One afternoon, as we waited outside on the sidewalk for the transportation van to pick us up, after a visit to David’s primary physician’s office, a young man named Raul passed in front of us on his bicycle. All of a sudden he turned around and proceeded to tell us that the Holy Spirit had asked him to turn around and pray for David. The prayer was so powerful that it had to have been guided by the Holy Spirit. He then mentioned that David would walk and talk and left. Not even 2 minutes later a gentleman passed us by and as he blessed David he said that David would be OK. The Lord was speaking to us. We were not alone.

John came to watch B-Boy videos with David.

Hector Luis and John came to see David and watched B-boy videos with him. Before leaving, Hector Luis placed his watch on David’s arm. David loved watches so we knew this was a positive stimuli. He kept staring at the watch until he fell asleep that night.

The following evening I went to a healing prayer at church. It was powerful. The message was about the Lord’s promise to take care of our children and that He is always with us.

We all have days full of sorrows and distress. We can choose to allow these moments to twist us into darkness and burden others around us or choose to allow God to give us the fortitude to serve others so that His Love can dwell in us. All we have to do is ask. He will never forsake us.

(Isaiah 41:10; Deuteronomy 31:8; Matthew 28:20)

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Well Played.

5/2/2016

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There was a lot of preparation for the swallowing test. Speech therapist Stacy trained us on exercises to practice several times a day to get David ready. If he would fail the test – we would have to re-apply after 3 months for the next one.

We would talk about how much he had practiced during high school for basketball, baseball and football and how, “practice makes perfect” so, every day we practiced and practiced and practiced some more.

Swallowing is controlled by the brain, which sends signals to muscles in our throat and esophagus. With neurological problems such as a brain injury, patients may have difficulty initiating and executing a swallow. With Dysphagia, which is the medical term for difficulty swallowing, patients may choke on their food and/or experience aspiration. Aspiration is the medical term for inhaling small particles of food or drops of liquid into the lungs. Aspiration may occur without anyone knowing if the amount of food or liquid is small (Silent Aspiration). The first sign of aspiration may be trouble breathing or signs of pneumonia.

Not only did we hope David could taste food again, we learned that the muscles involved in the process of eating could improve David’s speech ability. Also research concerning nutrition and its relationship to brain function, cognition, learning and social behavior confirmed that nutrition has a direct effect on neurotransmitters which are important in sending messages from the body to the brain.

The swallowing test was a very significant milestone in his rehabilitation. I arrived at the nursing home very early the day of. When I got to David’s room, several CNAs were already getting him ready. Arrangements had been made with transportation and all the paperwork was signed and prepared for the hospital staff. After all the practice, the day had arrived. Excitement was in the air. They wished us luck and off we went to Jackson Memorial Hospital. I prayed that David would not get agitated and instead would remain relaxed and focused on swallowing.

I signed him in at the lobby and waited. It felt like an eternity before they called us to a window and after I explained the reason for our visit, the attendant mentioned that David was not on “the list”. My heart plummeted. The lady said David could not be seen and that we had to leave. I told her I had received a call confirming the appointment and I insistently begged her to check with a supervisor.

As she turned around, I wanted to cry but I had no time so I turned to prayer instead. I didn’t stop praying until the attendant came back to the window. I couldn’t read the decision by looking at her so, as she got set to tell me, I just held my breath ready to accept God’s will. She then proceeded to explain that there must have been a mix up because David was not on their list but that the pathologist was indeed waiting for him upstairs. I was so happy I had not left at the first obstacle but persisted on the task instead. I walked to the elevators as fast as I could as if there existed a possibility that someone would change their minds and turn us back.

The hospital’s speech language pathologist (SLP) welcomed us with a smile. She showed us the different textured food prepared for the test, which included yogurt, applesauce, thickened liquids and a few cookies. This would be the first time David would try solids after 4 months. I wondered how he would react. Two assistants sat David in front of an X-ray machine and then escorted me to a hidden room where I could see David through a glass window.

There was a monitor, which would make David’s throat, the pharynx (back of mouth and throat) and the esophagus (a hollow tube of muscle extending from below the tongue to the stomach) visible on X-ray. We would see it live, as it would be occurring.

The SLP began the test by introducing yogurt and as she showed David the spoon, he opened his mouth indicating his brain automatically responded to the action expected. I could see the food on David’s tongue. The radiologist in the small room said, “it was not good”. He had to propel the food to the back so that it would quickly pass through the pharynx and then into the esophagus or swallowing tube.

During my children’s school years sports events, I was their most spirited cheerleader. Now I felt like shouting, “go David you can do this”. The suspense was rising when all of a sudden David pushed the food to the back and down went the yogurt. We were all relieved. Then he tested for the applesauce, the thickened liquids and the cookies. Like a star, he tackled each sample and hit goal bite after bite. They congratulated us and off we went to share the victory.

I kept hugging and cheering David as we waited for the transportation van to pick us up. A whole new world had just opened for him. Back at the nursing home everyone: the nurses, techs, Ms. Martin, Carmen the nutritionist, Mr. John, Idalis and her son Andy, Ruben and others congratulated us as they would hear the news. He would start by eating soft foods, then puree and gradually to solids. As David would manage regular meals, the feeding tube would also be removed.

The order was in for the next day. A soft breakfast for Bed 1 – David Arroyo.
Unbelievable – David would have his own breakfast being served. He would enjoy the fruit of his hard work and efforts.

As I left for the evening, I kissed him good night and whispered as he slept “Well played David, well played”!

We are made strong in the Lord. He gives you the strength to stand firm and take what is yours without loosing fate.

(2 Cor 4:16-18; 2 Chronicles 15:7; Psalm 31:24)

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It takes a community.

4/17/2016

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My cousin Kim and son TJ

We constantly worked on different cognitive exercises to sharpen David’s memory such as color and shape puzzles, picture and word recognition games. My cousin Kim had sent him various educational books and a Leapfrog phonics board, which we used to practice on alphabets and numbers. He would follow my actions drawing circles and squares using crayons and played memory game. It was accelerated classes to open years of education files that were stored. I referred myself as his coach and worked his arms and legs constantly. Ana Carolina and David's friend Kimberly would love to watch the “Step Up 3" movie and B-Boy DVD's competitions with him, play memory or card games and hang out. We kept David busy working every day.

Speech therapist Stacy placed the order at Jackson Memorial Hospital for the swallowing test, which we looked forward to and prayed it would be soon. The tracheotomy incision was healing well and he continued to breath 100%.

During the following weeks loved ones – grandma “Mama Aby”, brother Fernando, my sister Gaby and James, little cousin Chris, my uncle Rick and my sister Lucy came to spend time with us.

Fernando continued to wrestle with David's new reality.

Fernando continued to have a hard time accepting David’s injury. Because he remained in Central Florida, I believed it made it harder to grasp the process like the rest of us who lived the issues and saw David every day.

During his visit, he had David close his eyes and listen to a music CD he had prepared for him. Music and dance had always been the strongest common ground amongst them. I knew David was enjoying every moment of it.

David stared at grandma “Mama Aby” with such intensity as if he wanted to talk to her. She prayed and spoke to him about beautiful memories and things to look forward to such as the trip to Portugal, which they would go together. Gaby would work on repeating gestures as nodding yes and no and mentioned how within her every three weeks visits David’s cognitive progress was evident. Uncle Rick recommended the use of HD earphones for David to listen to music. When my sister Lucy came in the room, David kept looking at her and at me several times to what appeared to me as if he was placing her into context as he held her hand and did not want to let go of her.

Lucy

Mama Aby

Gaby

Rick

Cousin Catherine and son Christopher

I was especially touched by the visit of my cousin Catherine’s youngest son Christopher. Because of his age, I expected he would be shocked at David’s situation - but instead – his warmth and tenderness towards David was unique and genuine. There was no need for words. In silence, they both looked at each other expressing their affection for one another. It reminded me of Jesus’ words on becoming like a child who are simple and true at heart. I just observed and prayed for that endearing moment which filled my heart with joy and hope.

There were difficult moments as well - during this time. After three weeks, it was time to say goodbye to Kimberly whom we had gotten accustomed to have around. It was obvious that it became hard for her to leave. Two days later, as Fernando hugged David goodbye, he reached out with his left arm and hugged him back and they both cried. Mama Aby went back home and my heart felt compressed like a raisin. I would miss having her support and unique loving care and I knew David would too. There is nothing like a mother’s presence.

David’s reaction to certain actions such as fixing the earphones, hugging or opening his mouth when presented with a spoon was labeled by the therapists “with purpose” and considered improvement in his condition.

We would always be ready and prepared if there was an opening at therapy to quickly take David to work for as many as four times a week. He learned how to place small pegs into a board to work on fine motor skills. He would hold the weight bars as if he would remember going to the gym.

They worked on his balance and posture. From not being able to lift his head and keeping it straight without support - to holding it up on his own was a miracle on its own. The therapists were always so motivated to work with David. Each one of them became our angels.

A new task was visiting the computer room. David watched attentively to every one of my moves. I named every part of the computer: mouse, monitor, websites, browsers, clicks etc. I wondered if he would recall his own business website which he had spent hours and resources perfecting and working on to become a beautiful site. When he saw the page of “Elevated Entertainment” pull up, it felt as if time stood still. Observing David’s gaze at the site pages, I could imagine all these brain wires searching and linking to old files.

When I played Fernando’s youtube video, he cried. This event proved to me that David was recognizing moments and events. For the subsequent visits, David would watch the neighbors use the mouse and imitated them.

One afternoon my heart stopped as David figured out how to move the wheelchair with his left arm as we watched this other young man race up and down the hallway with his wheelchair. I wished soon I would hold a competition between them. It must have felt good to have the ability to move independently, I thought.

After David had fallen asleep one evening, his roommate Stucky asked me for a kiss good night and gave me one too. With a childlike smile he turned to his side pleased I had agreed to his request. I meditated how a simple kiss on the cheek had this great effect on this young man.

There was a real world in this home that made me constantly wonder how I could help. In the meantime I would bring “coladitas” or shots of coffee to the 4 to 5 men who would line up at the lobby waiting for my arrival every morning. I would listen to the same stories of 92 years old – Dona Luisa who would invite me to visit her mother and we would walk around in circles at the back patio pretending to walk towards the bus stop. I would accompany Danny at the lobby who would wait for his mother for lunch every day whom had been anxiously trying to take him home for the last 3 years. I would look for Mr. John who was teaching David how to fist bump or help find brain game websites for patients who would call me, as I would pass by the computer room.

David and I at the back patio.

In the middle of our ins and outs with David, these people brought a unique perspective to our lives. It was a whole new world. This small community of patients, nurses and other employees were the stories that matter and the thoughts we carried in our hearts and prayed for. I looked forward to seeing them every day.

After two weeks, we received the call from the hospital – David’s swallowing test was scheduled for the following week. We lifted prayers of thanksgiving and mobilized all prayer warriors for it to be successful.

Leaving at night was difficult as David became more aware. He would get agitated as I would get ready to leave. I would stay as long as I could, many times up till 10 pm waiting for him to fall asleep. I continuously thought of taking care of David back home. Jorge began to research for options. The decision involved many people, services, paperwork and special permissions. As a family, we agreed that we would move forward as the Lord would open doors and at the time He would chose.

It is such a broken world. We are so easily entertained with trivial things and events, which only cater to our senses - that we miss the true important opportunities to connect with others who are in need of a smile, a caring gesture or a simple conversation.

(1 Peters 3:3-4; Colossians 3:12-13; Matthew 18:3)

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Our Favorite Things.

3/21/2016

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One of our favorite movies to watch was Brother Sun, Sister Moon which is the story of St. Francis of Assisi. Every time I watched it, the thought that St. Francis had suffered a brain injury always crossed my mind. At that time, the effects of a brain injury was probably not even known. The other favorite movie was Dragon, the Bruce Lee story where it shows his life journey including his full recovery through therapies and workouts after suffering a severe back injury.

David loved to see Jorge every time he showed up. I would love to hear the details of Fernando back home and the dogs, the house, and our church community. I would love to laugh at his same jokes or listen to the music he would play and sing for David.

I knew that for the time Jorge was in town, I didn’t have to worry about what to eat because he always found the right things to get.

One of Jorge’s favorite places was “El Palacio de los Jugos”. Tia Flor would prepare these fabulous meals especially when Jorge would be in town. Still to this day, he often requests I cook the “Mustard-Spinach baked chicken” she used to prepare.

Once in a while Ana Carolina or Eddy would cook and we would eat together. We also became big fans of “Pollo Tropical”. It was always special when Jorge was around.

Tia Flor introduced us to “Dancing with the Stars” and soon it became another favorite thing to do.

On one of Ana Carolina’s trip back from Orlando, she drove Tony to see David.

Tony had been part of our family for over a decade. He was another son to us and a brother to all our children. They went to school together, worked out together, did martial arts together, break-danced together and grew in their faith together.

They had this special connection, which bestowed on each one of them an implicit brotherhood oath. This type of oath was comforting to the soul because it was genuine and good in intention and value. I wondered once more on David’s reaction and if he would recognize him.

When Tony approached David’s bed, David looked at him and then looked at me and repeated this gesture several times. I could see he had recognized Tony and how seeing David impacted Tony as well.

During the following days David’s speech therapist introduced him to lollipops as part of his swallowing training. As soon as Ana Carolina found out, she immediately ran to buy the biggest bag of lollipops available in every flavor known. This became David’s favorite thing to do.

Kimberly, David and I watching pictures

David & Kimberly

David enjoyed every lollipop.

Kimberly monitoring David swallowing.

We would take turns giving him lollipops and monitoring his throat making sure he would swallow after each taste. We were thrilled that David could at least taste the lollipops every time he would smell the roommates’ meals.

One of my favorite things was having dinner with Tia Flor and afterwards listening to a few chapters of her book over coffee & hot tea. Tia had written beautiful tales for years, which we all loved to listen to. Her current work was the biography of our family called “Branches, an Epic Biography of a Central American Family”. After partaking in a DNA ancestry blood test, along with her brother, my uncle Carlos, they were able to trace back hundreds of years of family lineage and migration paths of our ancestors. She then, relentlessly committed herself to the undertaking of sharing the history made in the places were our family journeyed leaving a path for future generations to learn of the contributions and experiences they lived. The book was to publish in a couple of months so Tia would be constantly editing, gathering pictures and finalizing details.

Tia Flor

One of the entries in my journal at this time simply read:
Jericho – 7th day – 7th month. I don’t recall the reason I recorded it but as it turned out… it would eventually reveal a unique chain of events that would again show God’s plan, His almighty love and mercy.

Removing the tracheotomy tube turned into a distressing task. My trust in the Lord grew tenfold during this process. David’s speech therapist believed he was ready for the swallowing test but the tube had to be removed first and the opening completely healed before we could ask for the test. Word had it that getting an appointment at the JM Hospital could take months. I was determined to make every effort possible so that all we would need was the authorization from the nursing home doctor to have it done.

I knew God was guiding us so I prayed that we would connect with the right person to answer the phone calls and those processing the requests. I prayed that as God would move the hearts of the people who were in charge of this procedure, they would respond to His voice in order to get this done. At first I got the run around, no one could tell me anything regarding the steps to take and the response was always that I had to wait for a call back. Nurse Wesley got me several phone numbers to bypass the gatekeepers. It was a trying moment. I didn’t give in to the thought that God had abandoned us. I knew His wonders and miracles are done through us so, I continued praying for everyone who in some way or form would get involved.

Barry, Kimberly's dad.

Barry, Kimberly’s dad consulted with his doctor friends to find about the procedure and mentioned it was a quite simple procedure. My uncle Dr. Carlos volunteered to remove it at the nursing home as well as Dr. Sanchez from Jackson MH but the doctor at the home, Dr. St. Vil explained that protocol had to be followed and that meant for them to refer the cases to the hospital and wait. It felt as if for every effort additional obstacles would get in the way. One afternoon I broke in tears. Nurse Rose said that I should not look at the external things but to stay focused on my role. My mom said God would use all the efforts as part of His plan and Kimberly, said that God knew it was tough times but to trust Him because He was in charge. OK – I dried my eyes and got back on the mission.

God moved the hearts of so many beautiful people supporting and walking along with us. Every word they said, every prayer they lifted up and even every cup of coffee shared not only did it help to make the journey bearable but it was as if God was caressing us through each one of them. Even in the waiting, God had a plan.

As we waited for the appointment from the hospital, David continued to show improvement. He started to be able to stay sitting up for 4 hours. His physical therapist, Coach Harold, as we called him, would come to stretch him and as I counted in English, Harold would count in Spanish to help David regain speech memory.

Ana Carolina

One evening, Kimberly and Ana Carolina came to see David and we were talking about the trache tube. We watched a video of the removal procedure and we discussed on waiting for a sign. Then as David was being transported back to the room after his shower, CNA Blair told me David had coughed out the tube cap. Ana Carolina, Kimberly and I looked at each other in silence. This was the sign I had mentioned earlier. As I dressed David, the collar Velcro got loose and out came the tracheotomy tube. Still in disbelief of what had occurred, I called the head nurse and the crew came in to check on David.

The respiratory therapist and head nurse agreed he was breathing 100% and covered the incision.Now we only had to wait 24 hours for it to close. Mission accomplished!

“Without God... I can’t - but without me... God won’t.”
(St. Augustine). We think of all those who respond to the movement of their hearts inspired by the Lord to help accomplish His purpose in His divine plan for each other. We pray that we may never create a delay, an obstacle or block to these blessings by ignoring the calling to do the noble things that are placed in our hearts.

(Amos 3:7; 1 John 4:12; John 14:12)

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Prayers answered

3/8/2016

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Kimberly called and told us she would be in Miami for 3 weeks. This was a very special visit.

David and Kimberly met around 2004 at Bayside Hut in Key Biscayne and dated for about 4 years. We all became very close to her. Even though they each went their own separate ways, they remain good friends.

David always kept a special space in his heart for Kimberly.

On the day of the accident, she was flying for summer vacation to her hometown, Trinidad & Tobago. Her flight had a layover in Miami, which allowed David to spend some time with her. After dropping her off at the airport and on his way to work, he called me to share his joy of having been with her and said he would call me back. About 3 hours later, I received the call about his accident instead.

We all knew Kimberly’s visit would be important even if David was still confused and in a daze. I wondered what reactions would he have and if he would remember her at all. I prayed that her presence would spur new connections for David.

As soon as Kimberly entered the room David watched her come in and as she got closer, he looked intently at her. The way he looked at her was evident that he indeed had recognized her.

Then he started voicing with the Aaaaaaah like never before. I cried with happiness because in my heart, that was the reaction I had hoped for.

As she spoke to David, he saw she was wearing the ring he had given to her while they dated. It filled my heart with joy. For the first time he alluded to an event from his memory. I wondered what else he would remember.

Kimberly shared pictures and memories.

We spent the day sharing and talking about all that had occurred, and next steps.

The next day, after mass the priest announced about the candles to support the grotto of the Virgin of Fatima located behind the church. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. Not only was the church named Saint Michael the Archangel, it also had a grotto dedicated to the apparitions of the Virgin Mary of Fatima, in Portugal. On the Sunday before David’s accident - where we celebrated Mothers Day together, he had invited his grandmother to Portugal to visit the grotto. David had a special love for Our Lady of Fatima. You can imagine my joy. Another sign – I went and prayed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grotto

A grotto is often a small cave such as the well-known apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes to Bernadette Soubirous took place in a grotto, which is visited by many Catholics.

Numerous garden shrines are modeled after these apparitions, and can commonly be found displayed in gardens and Churches.

The following week was full of exciting events: at physical therapy, they stood David up and he was able to endure for 10 minutes.
At the front patio, David caught the ball in the air playing with Eddy and we all cheered.

Sebastian and David.

Sebastian and Alex

Cousin Alex brought David’s co-worker Sebastian to visit and it was great to witness his love and caring heart.

Joy came to visit David.

Another special visit was Joy, Kimberly’s mom. As Joy was saying goodbye, David suddenly grabbed the Divine Mercy necklace she was wearing. She acknowledged he had given it to her and was amazed he had taken notice of it. How thrilling that David had experience another memory recurrence. Kimberly kissed him goodbye and unexpectedly he lifted his head and began sobbing. David was crying for the first time. We all cried and hugged. Another miracle. I stayed with him until he fell asleep. It was so hard to leave.

It had been a day full of emotions. Before heading to Aunt Flor’s house, I stopped at the grotto to pray. I offered up my pain and sufferings.

When we offer up our sufferings, God does wonders with our humble offering.

Grotto to Our Lady of Fatima behind St. Michael the Archangel church on W. Flagler St. in Miami.

I offered my suffering for children in orphanages around the world. When I raised my eyes, a little girl was being lifted up by her father to kiss the statue of the Virgin of Fatima. It was as if I was witnessing my prayer being answered represented through the gesture of that father and daughter. A profound joy invaded my heart.

Our prayers are always heard. Thank you Lord for all the prayers answered – for those we see and for those we don’t see.

(Mark 11:24; Jeremiah 33:3; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

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Moving in the right direction.

3/2/2016

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I continued to keep a journal of every development in David’s daily routine. The withdrawal of medications can be challenging so; I knew documenting reactions and changes would be valuable.

David was on 13 different medications to attend his respiratory and digestive system, for Parkinson and blood pressure, stimulants, depressants, muscle relaxants, anticoagulant, antibiotics, antacids and eye drops. All these were administered through the feeding tube. The concern of side effects and problems with the metabolism was always present. Some of the effects included hallucinations, agitation, confusion, nausea, seizures and restlessness. One of the medications with sedative properties was Baclofen to treat muscle spasms or spasticity. Spasticity is a muscle control disorder that is characterized by tight or stiff muscles and an inability to control those muscles (http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/pain-management-spasticity). A few possible side effects of Baclofen were drowsiness, dizziness and muscle weakness. I wondered how I would discern if David would be experiencing any of these effects because of the medications he was taking or because of the brain injury. I questioned if these medications would delay his mental alertness and cognitive improvement.

David would take long naps during the day. We also learned that after a Traumatic brain injury, many injured sleep an unusually long amount of time as the brain is trying to heal from the injury. Sleep is important because it helps in the rehabilitation process. (http://www.traumaticbraininjury.net/sleep-disturbances-and-tbi/) During sleep, muscles and soft tissues heal, scar tissue develops and the brain and body recharge.

Proper sleep follows regular and predictable rhythm cycles. When we sleep, our brain sets down memories and refreshes various connections that allow it to work. Quality sleep helps us think more clearly, be more alert, and function at our best in all areas: mental, physical, and emotional. It is also possible, especially after a serious injury, that the brain’s electrical rhythms be disrupted. As the brain and body heal from injuries, sleep patterns may become more normal. (https://healthonline.washington.edu/document/health_online/pdf/Sleep_Problems_Brain_Injury_11_08.pdf)

When breakfast, lunch or dinner was delivered to the room, David would be wide-awake. We knew he had not lost his sense of smell. Because of his injury, David received his nutrition through a feeding tube because it was considered unsafe for him to consume anything orally. Brain injury frequently affects the skilled coordination of the nerves and 26 different muscles in the neck and esophagus that are used during the normal swallowing process.
Therapy is necessary to rebuild the patients’ swallowing ability. (http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/tbifam/swal2.html).

Once in a while we would hold a piece of ice so he could practice swallowing. I would roll the curtains so that he wouldn’t have to watch his roommates eat.

Great and new happenings occurred during the following week. David moved his right hand and foot, which had not been active at all. His Physical Therapist, Julissa took him to stand up for the first time. He became more vocal with the Aaaaaah. He worked on puzzles with Gaby and mimicked her by shaping his mouth to try and vocal the O. Sue and Alex came to visit and Tio Mayito and Tia Tere came from Puerto Rico to spend time with us.

Tio Mayito visited from Puerto Rico.

We taught and prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet with his roommates Don Carlos and Stucky. He moved his tongue from side to side, which meant a step towards speech therapy and swallowing training. We were to expect a call regarding the removal of the tracheotomy tubes, which was the other important step on the way to eating real food. He had his first shower.
An important highlight that week was the visit of his barber Ziad who David always visited every two weeks. Zi gave him his first official haircut and spent time showing David some pictures of them together. It was great having him over.

Zi came to give him a haircut.

One afternoon Eddie & Jorge spent the day with David and Ana Carolina kidnapped me for the day. We went grocery shopping and went to her apartment. She had me watching TV enjoying some sushi as an appetizer, while she cooked sirloin, mash, mac/cheese & asparagus. It was great.

As we worked through the introduction of new experiences and the visit of loved ones, we looked forward to important events that would happen during the following weeks; especially the possibility of the tracheotomy removal, which was being seriously considered.

At the end of that week, I had a dream about the trach tube falling off. The next morning I found him with a new trach tube. It was as if we were especially connected. I prayed that removing the tube would be the next doctor’s orders. We would wait and see.

Waiting with patience and embracing the love of family and friends made our days joyful and peaceful. We knew we were moving in the right direction.

(Psalm 143:8; Psalm 27:14; Romans 15:5)

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Signs, Wonders & Miracles

2/17/2016

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Throughout this time, I had purposely avoided passing by the spot where David’s accident had occurred. My nephew Hector Luis, who had witnessed the accident, repeatedly commented how he couldn’t understand how David had not suffered any fractures as he was ejected from the motorcycle and thrown over about 60ft through and in between enormous pillars under the 1-95 overpass.

In one of Jorge’s visits I asked him to take me to where the accident had occurred and as we passed by, I offered a prayer in thanksgiving as I saw the pillars and wondered how he escaped from hitting one of the many. Only a miracle could explain it.

During the first weeks of his accident, my mother gave details of the image received of St. Michael the Archangel during a special intercessory prayer she offered for David, along with her community.

St. Michael the Archangel had an exceptionally special meaning for David. In the Catholic Church, each participant at Confirmation (a sacrament of initiation) gets to choose a Christian name such as a bible hero or of a saint and add it to his or her first and middle name. David chose Michael as his new name. He had a small figure statue, which reminded him to pray the St. Michael the Archangel protection prayer for him and others.

St. Michael The Archangel

Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou,
O Prince of the Heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Angels are ministering spirits (Hebrew 1:14), created by God. Guardian angels help protect us from spiritual and physical harm (Acts 12:15; Matt 18:10). St. Michael the Archangel is a powerful warrior angel who engages in spiritual combat (Daniel 12:1).

To my amazement, the church I found next to the nursing home happened to be called St. Michael The Archangel Catholic Church on West Flagler Street. Its parishioners were very welcoming and I enjoyed their music and how the priest would walk amongst us during the homily. One of the Sunday’s messages that deeply touched my heart referred to how the flesh is weak but the Spirit is strong. How the Holy Spirit will intercede for us when we are confused or in turmoil and helps us to bear the burden especially when life trials seem overwhelming. God was talking directly to me.

I was spiritually moved by the fact that again, St. Michael the Archangel was a constant representation of God’s presence throughout this journey. I knew it was not a coincidence and more of a God-incident.

David had still not made any facial expressions. He had not laughed or cried since the accident. We didn’t know if he experienced pain at all. We guessed he enjoyed watching certain movies and videos of break dancing because he would pay close attention as we played them for him. The only noise he made was the occasional Aaaaahh.

One of the issues we learned early on - was the fact that at the nursing homes it was nearly impossible to receive enough physical therapy. I feared David would not get the attention needed to regain muscle mass, range of motion and other important skills. When we were notified of an assessment the therapists would be conducting to evaluate if David was qualified for therapy, we activated every prayer group, every saint and angel in heaven.

We hoped he would follow commands at the therapists’ request. We sat David in his wheel chair as they had asked. As they walked in the room, every bit of optimism ran through my veins. Julissa and Roxanne examined David from head to toe. They asked us a few questions. David responded to the majority of their commands. All of a sudden they both looked at each other and whispered out loud, “there is potential”. I wanted to hug each one so tight and cry but instead I thanked them and try to stay upright because it felt I was about to faint. David was on his way to physical and occupational therapy the following week. We would have a Care Plan meeting to establish goals. Another miracle. We celebrated this important step.

I remembered what Nurse Rose had mentioned a few days earlier, “not one leaf moves from a tree unless the Lord orders it”, she said and told me to read and pray Psalm 91. She continued to tell me that I had to learn my position through all that was happening because if not I would be all over the place without purpose. I prayed about it.

That same day in the evening and without knowing about my earlier conversation with Rose, my mother said to me over the phone, "You are accompanying David in his journey". Something about those words touched my heart.

That was the answer. My new role was to accompany David, to complement him, to be his companion, his partner. I was to take part in an undertaking with David. We would be working together on a special mission. I pondered this new role and prayed that I would not miss any sign, wonder and miracle along the way.

My new role as a companion had a significant perspective. I was still his mother but, this was different. David and I would spend a lot of time together. We would share experiences sometimes not expected or planned for. We would be constantly associated with each other. In our own identities, we would become comrades and serve one another. I prayed I would learn the role God invited me to be.

(Psalm 91:1; Romans 8:25, 27; Hebrews 2:4)

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The Power of Music

2/3/2016

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The following weeks gave us the opportunity to get into a new rhythm. The hospital’s equipment beeping all the time, the never ending vital checks and administering of medication, the medical staff visits every 2 to 4 hours, had been exchanged to a more loosen and laid back atmosphere which gave logic to its name of “home”. Knowing what to expect made me feel more comfortable.

I found extra time to research on brain injuries, next steps, organizations, support groups, anything and everything, which could shed light and guide us on our situation. This was a temporary home and nothing more. I had to explore our choices without jeopardizing David’s health. I wasn’t going to leave him and I couldn’t stay forever in Miami. The Lord would guide us, but I had to do my part.

Every day I looked forward to Ana Carolina bringing coffee or Eddie taking his lunch hour and spending time with us. Everyone was back to routine. Cousins would constantly call or pop in to say hello.

David slept a lot. I sat next to his bed and spent many hours reading, praying, and listening to classical music or CDs, which played sounds of rivers, the ocean or birds. One of our favorites was a Baroque Classical CD that Mama Aby had sent David. It became such a favorite on the floor, I ended having to get extra copies to give away to the nurses who wanted it to take home or play it to other patients. David’s roommates enjoyed falling asleep to this music, which seem to convey an array of human emotions.

On the first week of our arrival, I asked the floor staff about the young man who had been transferred from the hospital the same day as David. I learned that the private room, which originally was to be David’s ended up being prepared for this young man instead. I also learned he had no relatives staying with him. His family lived up north. My first thoughts were on the fact that if he had no need of a private room maybe I could arrange to swap rooms so I could stay at night with David.

After a few days, I asked if I could meet him. The nurse in charge asked I wore a mask before entering Mathew’s room. The door was half way open and the TV was on. I knocked on the door and walked in. Mathew was on his side facing the window. As I got closer, I introduced myself. Once I circled the bed to face him, my heart stood still. This handsome young man, David’s age, had a tracheotomy hooked to a respirator, a feeding tube, and a towel over his forehead. Half of his skull had been removed. His eyes were closed. I continued talking as if to make sure he wouldn’t know I was in shock. I wasn’t sure if he could understand but I told him I was down the hallway with my son David. I promised that I would pray for him, visit him again and left the room. At that moment I burst sobbing with compassion. I was so happy to know Mathew had the private room. I shared with David who Mathew was and we prayed together for him and his family.

The next day, I got a small CD player, marked it with Mathew’s name and brought the popular Baroque CD for him. I asked the nurses to exchange turning on the TV for music and to make sure the CD would play as much as possible for him. I knew music could do marvelous things for Mathew.

Music is important. There is power in music. Music affects our beings. We are spiritual beings and music is an expression of the soul. God created sounds. We discover music through sounds and create musical compositions through combinations of sounds. Nature is constantly creating music.

We write songs of love, songs of praise to God, lullabies to our children, carols for Christmas, hymns to our land, jingles to our sport teams. We use music to intensify a love theme or a dramatic one in films. The majestic type of music used at graduations, weddings or great finales can make one emotional. Music makes people re-live experiences, think of people and places in the past and reach out to emotions, which are embedded and unique to the songs playing.

Sound of Music

"Music significantly affects mood”. http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0018861. It has been proven to be an integral part of our mental health. It can soothe stress, build confidence, rouse enthusiasm, increase hostility, sadness, and tension, and it can help people feel optimistic and promote social behavior. The brain chemistry or neurological makeup has an effect on music. “When people listen to music, the brains produce dopamine --- the "pleasure chemical" also released by many drugs. When exposed to music (either listening or playing), young children's brains develop faster and with neural pathways that might not develop in any other way”. http://www.ehow.com/info_8765530_music-affect-mood-mind.html

Like everything else, music has also been tainted with ugly, to the extent that radio stations have created “safe” music model programs. Safe from profanity, safe from misconceptions, safe from twisted emotional expressions, safe from sexual innuendos. It is easy to get caught up with a melody or rhythm and not pay attention to the lyrics. When I listen to some pop music, it alarms me to think our society finds it acceptable and enjoyable to listen.

We have chosen to be influenced by anything in the name of the “right to speech”. For some it is hard to walk away, ignore or turn off entertainment with the wrong message or image. This ugly music undermines in more than one way, the dignity of human beings. It horrifies me to think this music is building new values to younger generations.

Music is powerful. If we filter what we listen for a considerable period of time, it will become easier to discern good music from the rest. We should become attentive in choosing the kind of music we listen to. Protect yourself from exposure to explicit music. Not all artists produce good things.

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart”. (Luke 6:45)

(1 Peter 3:10; Colossians 3:8; Ephesians 4:29;
Ephesians 5:19)

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Life-giving Water

1/15/2016

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After making the decision of accepting David’s new temporary home, Eddy and I walked together to his room on the second floor. There we saw David sitting up in his wheel chair. He looked great. His CNA for the day, Norma had dressed him up and was making the bed. She even had the fan going so he wouldn’t sweat. Norma always carried a smile. She took pride in her care for David and was so gentle and kind to him.

CNA Norma was kind and gentle with David.

One morning I arrived to David’s room and found him covered in oil - head to toe. As I stroked my finger over his skin, wondering what this grease all over his hair, face, ears, and body meant, Norma came in, pleased of covering David with - what she called a miracle ointment.

She explained that this ointment would take care of the extreme dry skin David had developed, which is a immunodeficiency symptom due to the brain injury. This would protect his skin and would heal any open wound. In time I also became a huge fan of this ointment called Aquaphor.

It was sunny and breezy outside so Eddy and I took David to the front patio for the first time. In amazement, we watched David place his sunglasses on his own. Eddy started throwing a ball so it would land on a pillow, which we had laid over his lap.

We rejoiced watching David grab the ball. Even thou it seemed a simple reaction; we knew this meant his brain was responding and he was making connections. Throughout this time we had met other TBI survivors who weren’t able to respond to stimuli with a gesture or movement of any kind. So, David’s response was indicative that healing was occurring. We had also heard stories of a woman who after being in a vegetative state for about 2 years, woke up one day asking for a hamburger. Every story became important to us. And we shared our story with those we met at the facility.

Ana Carolina showed up with coffee and stayed with us. As I contemplated my children I reflected how brave they were and I told each one how much I loved them. Eddy simply responded that love was the most powerful force and that we had to love each other and everyone around us more than ever.

THE POWER OF LOVE

David’s accident had been a life-changing event. We were all hurting. I knew this was difficult for each one of them but they were ready to stand beside each other and face the complexity that this all meant for our family. Every day they made sure I was taken care of. Every day they made sure David would know how much he was loved. We surely were in this together. We also knew the Lord was blessing us.

We walked back to David’s room and talked a little more. As soon as Eddy and Ana left, CNA Blair helped me put David in bed. We watched what became our favorite DVD – a series of high definition beautiful documentaries which included episodes of stunning landscape and sceneries of mountains, fresh waters, caves, jungles, forests and ocean depth called “Planet Earth”. So much beauty spoke of God’s greatness and was very soothing for us.

Before I left, David and I prayed together and I played the music CD until he fell asleep. It was never easy to leave him at night but I also trusted in God’s plan. That evening I had dinner at Eddy and Ana’s place. Ana Carolina had made a delicious spaghetti dinner. I got to Aunt Flor’s home around 11pm. We talked about our day happenings and watched TV for a little while. I thought on how I have always loved her very much.

The first Saturday at the nursing home presented us with new experiences. Weekends were usually the days some patients would leave the facility to spend time with family members. Some would go to lunch, others would go to church and others would spend the whole day out. Transportation would be available on appointments and the staff would be frantically getting patients ready to be picked up with their permission slips.

These were the happiest days for Don Carlos. He loved going home to his wife and sons. He would repeat over and over the stories of his family and on how much he loved them. He required a lifter to get him on his wheel chair so there was also a lot of commotion in the room when the weekends would come around. Don Domingo would leave early in the morning to the patio and would not return until dinnertime. Stucky also required help to get out of bed but, once he would have breakfast, was shaved and dressed, he would wander around the facility and show up for lunch and later for dinner. David and I would have the room for us practically all daylong every Saturday and Sunday.

That Saturday at the front patio, we met Delia’s mom, her grandmother & her 1yr old baby girl Isabella. Delia had suffered a mayor stroke and was paralyzed needing constant care.

All of a sudden, baby Isabella began dancing for David. It was as if she knew David loved to dance and that he taught break dancing to children every Saturday. Even thou David could not express his emotions, I knew this had touched his soul. As I watched her dance and observed David, I thanked God for this little angel and in silence I danced for joy. God was certainly revealing himself in this place. Before they left, Delia’s grandmother approached me and gave me a very unusual suggestion. She told me to wash David’s feet with water. I thanked her and promised I would.

Once we got to the room, I grabbed a hospital bucket and filled it with warm water, a bar of soap and a towel. Not only I had promised to do so but, I realized David hadn’t had his feet submerged in water for over 2 months. David always enjoyed the beach and the pool so I thought the experience had to stimulate his brain and memory.

Sitting in his wheel chair, he observed everything I was doing. I kneel down in front of him, took off his shoes and socks and submerged his feet. He starred at his feet in the water and looked at me as if wanting to say something. David was reacting to this simple gesture. It brought tears to my eyes. I began scooping water with my hands and washed his feet. David was experiencing something new.

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking but I knew it was a loving-healing moment. I acknowledged God’s intervention when Delia’s grandmother had made the unusual suggestion. I was so happy to have followed through on what I had promised. This was life-giving water. At that moment, the image of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples came to mind. An overpowering joy invaded my being.

As Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, not only was He building them in humility and love but He revealed that true happiness is found in serving one another even in the middle of suffering. When we truly serve without expecting credit, reward or anything in return, we experience a unique sense of fulfillment and joy. It is through love that we can build each other. We are called to begin at home and with those closer to us. The more we serve the happier we become.

QUOTES:

“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” ― Rabindranath Tagore

(Mark 10:45; Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 4:10; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; John 7:37-39)

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Teach me to be Humble.

12/31/2015

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The next morning, I had this knot in my stomach realizing I was not going to be able to stay with David that evening. Examining the surroundings did not help ease my apprehension about the facility and wondered about the treatment that David would receive while I wasn’t there. Family and friends reassured me of their constant prayers and that is what I treasured the most. If God was with us, who could be against us?

Ana Carolina and I.

Then Ana Carolina told me that God had given me 24hrs/7days for 2 months next to David at the hospital. It was time for me to get real rest. “Stay strong mom, no matter what… there is no going back, we only move forward. Things will be okay”, she said.

This was going to be a longer journey that we had planned for. How long? Only God could know. I definitely needed to rest and remain strong as I continued to learn the ins and outs of what all this meant. I began writing down the new routines and the staff names. There were new procedures, new schedules and expectations from the CNA’s, the nurses and doctors. The administrator came to meet us and I thanked him for their understanding the night before.

David’s corner had a wide and tall window, which made me very happy. He would be able to see the world outside. His roommates were: Domingo, a 92 yr old man who had no family and had been living there for quite a while. Next was Don Carlos, a man in his 50’s who had fallen from a roof and hit his head on concrete, suffered a brain and spinal cord injury and remained at the facility for long-term care and therapy. Right in front was Stucky, a young man in his early 30’s whose left leg had been amputated and had been living at the facility for almost 2 years.

Nursing Home at NW 22nd Ave.

Many nurses and CNA’s came to meet David and those in charge of him would refer to David as their baby. “Come meet my new baby”, they would say. I found it awkward and it kind of bothered me inside but I just prayed in silence and smiled. I thought that I would rather be on their good side because eventually I would have to go and leave him with them.

I observed how the staff brought breakfast, lunch and dinner to the roommates, did their hygiene and treated them. David had a feeding tube that had been turned on and he was being turned sideways every two hours to protect him from bed sores. David kept looking at me every time someone would come in or attended to his care and I would just smile.

All of a sudden I became aware of the time. I had been so immersed in that day’s schedule I had totally forgotten it was almost time to say good night to David and leave. I wasn’t going to cry in front of him – I wanted to show myself strong and optimistic to encourage him to do the same. I played a spiritual instrumental music on a CD player until he fell asleep. Ana Carolina came to pick me up around 10:00pm. After 2 months next to David day and night, leaving him was so hard to do. I had to trust that David would be OK.

Aunt Flor

I got to Aunt Flor’s house where she had prepared a spare room for me to stay. I was so happy to see her. As I lay down, I set up the alarm for 5:00 am and I prayed myself to sleep.

From Aunt Flor’s house it took me around 15 minutes to get to the nursing home. As soon as I arrived, I rolled open the curtains and ran to give David a kiss. I had made it through the night without him. I knew it would get easier with time. I open the window blinds to let the sunshine in.

Eddy picked me up.

Just as Eddy had promised, he picked me up to visit other nursing homes. We were on a mission. We would not mention of our escapade to the current facility until we had all the needed paperwork to transfer David to a nicer looking long-term home. I continued to place everything in Mother Mary’s and Jesus’ hands. I only wanted to do God’s will.

The first facility we visited was part of the Jackson Memorial Hospital System, which meant that the transfer would possibly be smoother. The place was bright, big, the rooms where spacious and the facility was newer. There was a garden and a big therapy room. David’s name happened to be on the administrator’s list indicating that he had been scheduled to arrive at their facility, which brought tears of joy to my face. After a few phone calls, he proceeded to inform us that the health insurance would not allow for the transfer.

We then visited a nursing home in Coral Gables whose administrator explained our options and assured us that David would be well taken care of. The facility was impressively bright with wide screen TV’s, cable in every room, a well furnished dining room and lobby for the guests. I felt relieved. All we had to do was to sign paperwork and they would take care of the rest.

Eddy and I remained silent on our way back to the nursing home where David was. We sat in the car at the parking lot. There was a decision to be made. We prayed together. Then I asked Eddy, “What do you think?” He responded, “Mom, Jesus was born in a manger”. All of a sudden I felt this overwhelming peace which invaded my heart and I knew the answer. God could not speak any louder – we were at the right place. The decision was made… we stay!

Jesus was born in a manger.

Humility is the attribute of not thinking I am better than other people. If I have truly understood about being humble then I will find myself free from pride, self-importance, egotism, arrogance and from being conceited. Being humble encourages me to examine my motives and attitude. Humility is not a sign of weakness. Being humble I can be unafraid, courageous, brave and spirited and comfortable with whom I am in Christ. It is to recognize where my true strength lies. Being humble is recognizing my dependence in the Lord. It means to walk in the grace and love of God and help build others. True humility produces peace and joy even when I don’t achieve the results I am hoping for.

Quotes
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

(Romans 8:31; Philippians 2:3; James 4:6,10)

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Learning to trust.

12/18/2015

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Jackson Memorial Hospital

Word came that David was going to be moved again. The hospital’s representative in charge of the move came into the room and quickly looked at some of David’s equipment. As she rushed out of the room hinted that I get all my belongings together to leave the next day. I didn’t have a time of departure but she had mentioned morning so I immediately packed all of David and my stuff. I had heard that the family could stay at a room near the acute rehabilitation area close to their loved ones. We had been anticipating for this next step. I called everyone with the great news. David would be moving on his 28th Birthday.

The next morning I sang Happy Birthday to David and gave thanks to the Lord for his life. The staff came in to wish us well and to say their goodbyes. One of them recommended I check out the facility before leaving the hospital. At first her advice seemed strange until I learned it was not the acute rehab center David was being moved to but to a skilled nursing facility instead, which provided specialized care for those who needed long-term care to recover and were not able to be cared for at home.

Not only was I surprised and confused but I had this sense of urgency to find out the details of how and who had made the decision and what criterion was used for this determination. The hospital’s Psychologist came to talk to me and discussed the fact that paperwork stated David was at Rancho Scale 3 and the acute rehab required at least a 4. In addition to that, he explained that David could not keep his head up on his own and his response to showing tongue and 2 fingers was too slow to what it prevented his admission to the acute rehab center. With tears in my eyes, I insisted he verified David’s stage on the Rancho Scale and at my request he sent for a physical therapist to do the assessment.

As this was taking place, the floor staff was gathering all of David’s medical equipment, packing his medicines, and coordinating with the transportation crew. I prayed that the therapist would hurry up with the assessment so that the Psychologist would reverse the decision. As I had alleged - after the commands given to David by the therapist, he demonstrated to have reached stage 4. There was a moment of silence and then the Psychologist proceeded to rephrase earlier remarks and carried on with the task at hand of sending David off to the new facility. In my heart I realized paperwork had been done, the decision had been made and it was too late to make any changes. There was no use on keeping the Psychologist any longer listening to my plea. It satisfied me that he knew as well as I did that David had progressed. I thanked him for listening and he left.

I signed all the exit paperwork and waited for transportation to arrive. There was no time to say goodbye to all the wonderful people, which had become my family during these 2 months.

My trust had been placed on the Lord and this was the opportunity for me to show my faith in Him and to let go. I didn’t know what all of this meant but I was certain God was at our side. There had to be a purpose why all this was happening in the manner it was unfolding.

So many of David’s friends and colleagues continued to ask how he was doing. Eddy and Ana Carolina messaged everyone by phone and through Facebook that they would be celebrating David’s birthday at Segafredo that evening and invited all to join them. This would give them the chance to bring everyone up to date on David’s condition and answer any questions.

Around 7:00 pm the transportation crew came in with the stretcher. They carried a serious expression and no matter what I said, they only answered with a short yes or no. They didn’t seem interested in carrying on a conversation to what I refrained from initiating any and off we went to the new place on NW 22nd Ave. I had my bags on the back of the special van with David. It was the first time, he would experience being in a car and he just starred out the window with a nervous-fear like expression on his face. I assured him that everything would be all right as I caressed his hands.

JM Skilled Nursing facility.

When we arrived, I noticed the building was dark and not very appealing. The paint clearly indicated it was not well maintained. As we entered the facility, it was pretty quiet and only a few people were in the lobby who watched us head towards the elevator to the 2nd floor. No one spoke. Immediately exiting the elevator, the crew made a turn at the first room to the right. The room was dark and hospital cubicle curtains separated the room into 4 spaces. The corner to the left had the hospital bed overhead lights on, with a small chair and a table. As I scrutinized the room I noticed 3 other men already tucked in their beds. I had been told that David would be going to a private room, which had a couch for me to stay. My mind started analyzing the situation. If there were other men in the room, where would I be sleeping?

All of a sudden, 2 nurses and a CNA came in the room to welcome David. They introduced themselves and then continued to assure me they would take good care of David and that I didn’t have to worry about him. They mentioned this was David’s new home now and commented I could leave, that he was in good hands and that I could visit him at any time I wished to do so.

I went into a panic. This was not what I had planned. I had not been told I was leaving David. It had already been such a stressful and emotional day, I couldn’t believe this was happening. I broke down. I was crying so deeply it felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I picked up the phone and called Eddy. He said he was leaving Segafredo immediately to meet me at the nursing facility.

As they tried to console me, the night Supervisor came to see me and realized the situation. I begged her to allow me to stay and promised to remain very quiet. I explained how I felt blind-sided to it all and begged her to make an exception. She asked the other nurses to bring me a special chair so that I could sleep and apologized to me for the poor protocol on the hospital’s way of handling David’s exit. She asked for me to understand the exception she was making that evening but that I couldn’t stay after that. She reassured me I was welcome to visit David anytime. I hugged her and thanked her.
Eddy came in and assessed the situation. I broke down again but this time it was of joy of seeing him there. He offered to stay but I wasn’t emotionally ready to leave. Eddy told David that many of his friends came to his party and wished him well. He thanked everyone for allowing me to stay with David, I gave him a kiss and he left to join Ana Carolina.

It was David’s birthday. It felt as if I had been through labor pains
the entire day. One day I will be in the full light of our Lord and see the big picture but for now I was learning how to deeply trust God even when I couldn’t understand. I had to let go. I rolled the curtain, turned off the lights, stood still and quietly fell asleep.

Letting go is scary. Letting go doesn't mean we sit back and do nothing… we do our part. That which we have no control over we give it to God to handle. We let go of the feelings of unworthiness, the doubts, anxieties, the fears and worries. When I focused on how much God loves us it becomes easier to trust Him. Let go and let God.

We keep in our hearts and prayers so many special people at the Jackson Memorial ICU in Miami: Leo (PA), Leslie, Marbel, Katherine, Miguel and Jillian (RIP) and from the 9th floor so many to thank but specially: Irene, Mary K, Alex, Dexter, Natasha, Ivette and Michel. To priests Fr. Dominique and Fr. Martin thank you for your beautiful ministry and commitment.

(Psalms 46: 2-3; Proverbs 3:5-6)

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God's Footprints.

12/3/2015

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I left to Miami the next morning after dad’s funeral. So many different emotions dealt with. A part of my heart stayed behind and the other couldn’t wait to see David.

The pink chair was introduced to sit him semi-upright.

At the hospital, the CNA’s sat David up on a special chair, which we called the pink chair, because of the color. While they monitored his blood pressure, he would learn to remain semi-upright, as it helped to decrease any vertigo/dizzy spell he would be experiencing. CNA Irene became a dear one in our midst. She kept David as comfortable as possible.

The ninth floor staff would educate us further on signs to watch for. His hands would constantly tremble and it appeared that he would try to speak moving his tongue and lips. He wore a neck brace, which David did not like at all and attempted many times to convince everyone and anyone to take it off. He kept the brace until one afternoon Jorge realized it had slit opened his skin on the back of his head and never wore it again.

In one of Father Martin’s visits, we learned he had been the professor of Father Dominique, who we had hosted at home in one of his mission’s trip from Africa to the USA in 2005. What a small world. It felt as if God connected his dots wherever it was needed.
How many special people we continue to meet.

David’s old work team at Bayside Hut in Key Biscayne visited and related stories of their “super boss”. His bosses at Segafredo-Brickell visited him with their families one afternoon and lead a powerful and beautiful prayer filled with genuine affection. We continuously recognized the grace of being part of a community that gave, cared and loved.

Many times I would meditate on a need or a personal desire and prayed about it and soon enough someone dear or new would appear with the answer or support. This caused me to suggest how God moves our hearts for one another to answer a prayer and it is up to us to respond to the movement in our hearts. It makes us participants of the wonders and miracles we so long await for. It also made me reflect on the times we are so entertained with noise or so fixed on our concerns that we miss becoming that piece of the puzzle in someone’s life. And then what about those who are indifferent or don’t believe in God. Is everyone capable of being receptive to the movement of God’s voice or Spirit?

On June 20th, as we were practicing some sounds with David, he started moving his toes followed by moving both legs bending his knees. I ran to record it. We starred and hoped he could repeat it, especially on command. This meant for us the possibility of moving into the acute rehabilitation area where he would learn how to walk, talk and regain all the muscle control to live a normal life and become independent again.

That same week I had the most beautiful dream. My dad opened the room door and walked towards David to fix his head straight on his pillow. I told dad he looked so handsome and he just smiled at me and left. When I woke up all I could think of was about this great feeling of contentment.

On June 26, they changed his tracheotomy tube, which had a cap on, designed to help with the sounds of speech. Things were looking bright. The speech therapist visited us and gave us daily homework to stimulate and increase his mouth sensory awareness.

My partner, best friend and husband Jorge.

Life started to take shape for all of us as we struggled with the changes and emotions of the day-to-day challenges and progress. Ana Carolina, Eddy and wife Karina shared an apartment in Coral Gables where Jorge would stay as he traveled back and forth from Orlando and Miami once or twice a week. I remember waiting anxiously to see Jorge and literally crying to see him go. He was now the only one working. I knew he had to go to work but my heart wished he wouldn’t have to leave. Even though we were only 4 hours away it was hard and different to juggle life far from each other.

Ana Carolina & Eddy

As weeks went by, the room in the 9th floor became my special corner. In the middle of the noises and the in and out visits of nurses and doctors, I reflected about life; that we are just specs in the universe; and on what is the meaning of life without love and helping each other. How I was so vulnerable and emotionally delicate yet I felt strong and purposeful every day ready to do what was in store moment-by-moment. This fortitude and strength of mind carried me from the morning until I would fall asleep. The “Footprints in the Sand” poem connected and continuously spoke to my heart. The Lord was certainly carrying me.

Trusting in the Lord, working wholehearted with what is at hand, emerging unconditionally into your present reality provides an empowerment, which can ultimately define a stronger better tomorrow.

(Isaiah 25:1; Proverbs 4:25)

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Departures-Moving on.

11/15/2015

While sisters Noemy and Gaby arranged dad’s wake service and funeral mass back home, I coordinated things in Miami with Jorge, who happened to be with us that week, and he stayed with David at the hospital. Mom flew back to Orlando and chose the scripture readings, the music and prayer for the memorial card.

Coming into the house was difficult. Where we had gathered 6 weeks ago to celebrate my graduation, we now mourned our father’s passing. Hearts were heavy. Not having to think what to wear - just anything black - was such a relief. All I wanted to do was to see him at the funeral home.

Rev. Fidel Rodriguez

The funeral mass at Sts. Peter & Paul was solemnized by Father Fidel, who God had used in such a jubilant way to welcome my father back to church. Dad had been longing to fully participate in mass and after a long visit with Fr. Fidel, he renewed his spirit at church and met wonderful people in his new faith community. At the mass, in a heartfelt manner, Fr. Fidel conveyed dad’s God-given gifts and how he shared that gift with others, how an earthly journey ended and a new life in God began. His prayers filled us with hope and his compassion demonstrated the unique bond they had built with each other.

Family and friends came to DeGusipe Funeral home in Maitland to say their goodbyes and accompany us in prayer and solidarity. As I walked towards the casket where dad laid so handsomely dressed in a white suit with David’s wooden cross in his hands, my heart pounded stronger and stronger as I got closer. On my drive from Miami, I thought of what I wanted to say. But then, as I kneeled in front of his body, I didn’t say anything. The experience substantiated what I had learned - that human souls are separated from their bodies when we die. I know it may sound strange but I was taken back for a moment. Dad wasn’t there. I don’t know or recall what I had anticipated but the experience completely transformed my perspective of life and death. Maybe it was because dad’s funeral was the first one I had ever attended of a close loved one.

My sisters had arranged a table with some of dad’s special belongings and a breathtaking power point, with lots of pictures, which included everyone.

I reflected on what I had learned and believed how when we die, we return to the point of origin, with our Creator. How saints believed they would meet their loved ones in heaven or pick them up to bring them to heaven. For example, “on her death bed, St. Thérèse of Lisieux promised her Sisters: “I’ll still be even more with you than I was before; I’ll not leave you. I will watch over Uncle and Aunt, over my little Lèonie, over all of you. When they are ready to enter heaven, I’ll go very quickly to meet them.” (The Integrated Catholic Faith, Sr. Marie Morgan, OSF).

Deacon Scott Lindeman

Sts. Peter & Paul’s Deacon Scott officiated the service with genuine sympathy. His warm words touched all of our hearts and comforted us. It made me ponder that even though death is inescapable it is also a doorway into eternal life. My brother Carlos, sister Gaby, brother-in-law Hector and a few others spoke at the service. Eddy read David’s letter and uncle Luis Suarez recollected special moments with dad and shared how much he admired and loved him as the older brother. Dad would have liked his celebration. Now we would plan and coordinate for his burial in Miami.

Carlos words to dad at the Wake Service.

Aunt Mary, dad & Uncle Luis in the 70's.

After all was concluded, we went back home and recaptured events with mom. We laughed and cried, we shared memories, pictures, feelings, and the “to dos” for the near future. Mom would fly back to Michigan, Noemy & Hector back to Ohio, Lucy was in Chicago, Gaby was relocating down south Florida, and I was to go back to Miami and focus on David’s recovery. Fernando would stay home with dad’s assistant Josuan and Jorge would travel once or twice a week to work in Orlando and back to Miami to see us. Nephews, sons, daughter, cousins, aunts and uncles head back to their daily routines and responsibilities.

My brother Carlos picked up dad’s briefcase, bundled his dog “Cha Cha” and flew back to Puerto Rico with sister-in-law Haydee to continue dad’s legacy.

It was time to go home. Our new “normal” had to sink in and life had to move on.

How great it is that we will reunite with our loved ones when our earthly living concludes. Our prayers for souls can help them achieve heaven. The souls in purgatory cannot pray for themselves but can intercede for those on earth. We will stay connected even when we are gone. Dad, pray for us.

(1 Thessalonians 4:13-14; CCC 366; CCC 997; CCC 958)

Simply "Pete"...

10/29/2015

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"Los Curritos" was their artistic name as they sang and dance.

Narciso Pedro Pablo Curras, or simply “Pete”, was born on August 23, 1935 in La Habana, Cuba. At 11 years old his dad sent him, his sister Emily and his mother Soledad to New York to study and learn English.

He moved to Miami as a teenager, where he met my mother Noemy Suarez and got married at 20 years old. He joined the National Guard and worked for the newspaper The Miami Herald. In 1965 he was transferred to Puerto Rico as the Circulation Director for the newspaper “El Mundo” where he worked for almost 2 decades and held the position of Vice-President before he resigned. In May 1983 he established his company and publication “La Estrella de Puerto Rico”, a weekly newspaper that gave a platform to the western cities of the Island becoming the most recognized regional newspaper.

His gift of leadership was evident as he held important and noteworthy positions during his life. These opportunities opened many doors and placed him in roles where he made significant impact in many people’s lives. His leadership contributions ranged from representing Puerto Rico as a delegate in the Olympic games in Mexico in 1968 for the Boxing Federation to becoming the President of Puerto Rico’s Chamber of Commerce in 1979-1980.

President of Puerto Rico's Chamber of Commerce 1979-1980.

His enthusiasm and headship tapped in PTA’s, in the 1970’s Charismatic Renewal, Parochial Board and lead the Family Rosary Devotion Movement for his church. He was a Lions Club member, Fund Raiser Organizer for Three Kings gift distributions for the less fortunate and promoter of youth groups such “Viva la Gente” in the Island. He was a brilliant leader, energetic organizer, a competent mediator and a clever negotiator and was recognized by many in innumerable ways.

Of all his accomplishments what he cherished the most were the people he met. I witnessed people of all walk of life greet him with authentic smiles. He had a way to make others feel special. He always had time to share a story, a song and a good laugh. He shared his success with family and friends.

At the end, he left all the trophies, titles and recognitions behind. He packed a small luggage, his dog “Cha Cha” and his briefcase and left. It had all been accomplished, he lived a full life and as he would say… he did it his way.

Dad
We miss you very much!
You are woven into so many areas of each of our lives.
You were so simple, so driven and determined.
You lived as you believed, found strength in people and shared
   everything you had.
You were a romantic, liked to build memories, created magic
   moments and made dreams come true.
You taught us to give ourselves permission to sing,
   to dance and to laugh.
You encouraged us to speak up, to fight through, to have courage
   and never give up.
You showed us that it’s better to move forward without fear
   than to regret not moving at all.
You affirmed us to climb higher and to go deeper and to
   stay true to ourselves along the way.
You believed in not judging but to find the best in each other,
   to forgive and to forget.
You are our own “Profe”, our own “Don Quijote” whose quest
   was to dream the impossible dream.
Know that the world is better because you “strove with your last
   ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star”.
We thank you for the sacrifices. We will see each other again.

Many have proven that the answer to happiness is not in having money, ideal bodies, or exclusive perks. If all we own, or how we look, or what we make or where we’ve been doesn’t matter at the end, why do we cling to all this?

Every human being’s experience from the moment he is born to his death is unique. There is no formula or cookie cutter solution to a “perfect” life. It is in the encounter with others that a spark of light can happen and insight can be shared. It is through personal experience that we can have the opportunity to awaken to the true meaning and purpose of our lives. And if we have been created to do good works, as we experience these moments let us share a story, a song and a smile with each other.

(Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 3:7-8)

JUST A FEW SONGS WHICH REMIND US OF DAD.
Click on the album and enjoy the music.

   LETTER by David given to dad 3 months before his accident, on February 2011.

To a great man:
   The following intentions flow from heart and lead to the soul.
   As a young man searches for a better understanding of life and the details that it holds within, it is easy to distract yourself on material possessions that at the end we do not partake with into a life of eternity. Cars, houses, clothes, we leave behind. Spirit, memories, lessons, and blood stay forever.
   From an early age we are conditioned to love physical possessions and forget about the godly things we are given free of worldly cost. We are simply born with the best things in life, FOR FREE. Love does not cost a mother to give her child, spiritual adoration cost nothing to possess. But why does humanity constantly searching for a dream of wealth and worldly possessions when the most important possessions are given to us since birth?
   From dust we come, and as dust we will go, but our love and lessons stay from generation to generation. The memories of a grandfather working through sleepless nights to give a better future for a family will never be forgotten. The father that through trials and tribulations stays true to a love of a wife regardless of the distractions put beside him, does not go unnoticed. A mother walking through sand on a scorching hot day, with a child in each hand, broken stroller while carrying groceries is a thought that will burn memories into the toughest of minds.
   What good is life if we do not share the truth behind it? The truth is that love will heal broken souls and lessons will lay the foundation to a family.

Life is a long lesson in humility. - Sir James M. Barrie
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.- Robert Frost

WORDS at wake service by Gaby
   So this is a bit funny because, although I can write, it’s tough for me to get down to emotions.
I had started to write and someone reminded
me that this is not a bio or about his
accomplishments (which are abound)– it’s about the feelings! It’s about what will actually be embedded in our hearts, is the kind of person he embodied and how he made us feel.
    Fond memories from Huevos Rancheros in the mornings, to spending time just sitting with you and shooting the breeze. The amazing provider that he was, the sometimes ridiculous yet precious moments we shared with him. His unconditional love and all the joy he brought. And how he would drop everything for anyone of us and offer his support.
    His work ethic was infectious and I know it always pushed us to do a little better and better each day. How he reiterated that as long as you know the risks and consequences (and after of course about the 10K chances he gave you sometimes) you could do ANYTHING.
    A little unconventional, where the suit was often substituted by his “Guayabera” and his outfit of choice at times was the striped-shirt, plaid shorts, black dress socks and sandals (oh yes..) and although embarrassing at the time – I understand that it was my unconventional Dad that made everything else seem TOO conventional. A determined, hard working and courageous man. His sacrifices for family and those he loved where out of this world. He saved my life when cancer came knocking at my door…Mom & Dad where there at the drop of a hat but same urgency would have happened I propose if it was anyone one of us.
    The best of it all was when he decided to go back to “basics” and chose to move to Orlando just recently. All he had were his clothes, his dog, briefcase and cigarettes (and of course a Hawaiian themed shirt). Also how his last days with us, were not only wonderful for him (away from hospitals, and surrounded by those he loved) but for us as well!
    All he kept repeating over was “yo te amo mucho” along with a few “cono!!!s, of course)…when things were not going his way. He was Dad, Suegro, Abuelo, “The Godfather”, Tio Pitin, Big Brother to many, mentor and friend.

   To Dad – cono – we’ll miss you Cuco, but we know you’re in a better place so cheers to you and to one amazing adventure you had. Thanks for sharing it with us.   God Bless.

Click on the video below for more pictures.

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We are just passing through.

10/14/2015

Eddy celebrated his 29th Birthday with David and received the best gift.

My visit home felt like a dream. Spending time with dad was a blessing. To see my sisters caring for dad gave me so much peace. The next few days did not slow down for any of us. My sister Lucy flew back to work to Chicago and to arrange to come back soon. Then my mother’s blood pressure elevated so high she was taken to the hospital to what my sister Noemy pleaded her not to die. Mom flew back to Ohio, drove to Michigan to visit her doctor to turn right back as soon as she could. My brother Carlos and wife Haydee, who were visiting their grandchild in Michigan went to the hospital to check on Haydee's risen blood pressure then flew in to Orlando to be with dad.

In the heart of all this we were celebrating birthday, after birthday, after birthday.
Celebrating life continued to be the theme. That same day, June 15th, Eddy came to the hospital with 2 cupcakes. He wanted to celebrate his birthday with David, just as they had done so many times when they were kids. All of a sudden and to our surprise, after 36 days of silence, we heard David’s first sound. Eddy had asked David to speak for him and he received an “Aaaaaaaa” as his 29th birthday gift. You could hear kisses, tears, laughter and everyone asking David to continue speaking over and over again. We were all yearning to hear his voice again. We filled our phones with pictures and videos recording the moments.

The Hospital’s priest Father Dominic and Father Martin had become regular visitors and a true blessing for all of us. They would pray over David for healing in such a powerful and loving way. They also cheered at this new milestone.

On the evening of Thursday June 16th I felt sad to the point of making a note in my journal about this deep sadness. There were so many emotions that could explain having a heavy heart to what I prayed about it and fell asleep.

My son Fernando drove to Miami that evening because he had been casted for a movie which part of it would be filmed in Miami so he needed to work that weekend. He arrived at the hospital around 3:00 am. He woke me up and we left the room. We walked downstairs to get a cup of coffee. Half asleep, I remember being so happy to see him. Then he gently embraced me and told me my father had just passed away. I recall just looking at his eyes trying to register his words. I wanted to believe I was dreaming and in disbelief we cried together. Fernando then related that as he was leaving around 10:00 pm that evening, dad had asked him to tell David that he sent him all his love. Then as he drove down south, around 1:00 am he received the news that dad had passed. About 1 hour later, Jorge who was in Miami that weekend, came to the hospital after getting into an accident for rushing to be with me after hearing the news.

My sisters and brother said that he had a peaceful smile and was so serene that Noemy had to hear the confirmation from the nurse before she could accept dad was gone. The rosary David had giving him remain at his bedside all the time and they placed it in his hands as he rested in peace. “Thank you Lord for such a peaceful death”.
After discussing with one of my sisters that David couldn’t complaint of his suffering because he could not speak, this reality influenced dad to offer up his own pain for David.

In my heart I knew I couldn’t communicate dad’s passing to David and I prayed and asked the Lord to guide me for the appropriate time. A part of me cheered at the sounds, which David had uttered two days ago, and on the other hand I grieved my father’s voice as it silenced forever.

Life on earth is short but we will live forever. This is what we believe. We will see each other again in a place that Jesus has prepared for us. This is our Hope. We will praise our Creator together with hymns of joy. This is our Faith.

(Hebrews 11:16; Luke 2:29-32)

Lucy’s poem to dad:

Oh, my troubled Love,
In your last days
You gave all you had
To the ones you loved so much.

A precious sacrifice
To exchange your breath
With that of a younger soul
I know it in my heart.

Oh so desolate a garden
One more glance at the branches you left behind
fills one with the strength and
inspiration to carry on.

Dad and Lucy.

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My son, David Arroyo and I, Ana Curras, collaborate together. This is our story. Our story because we are connected. We all are. When you hurt, I hurt, when you succeed, I succeed, when you have joy, I do too. It's in our design as human beings. Our story is intended to give hope, joy, encouragement and light. We pray to be inspired by our Creator, guided by Jesus Christ, moved by the Holy Spirit and accompanied by our Mother Mary.
We believe.

NOTE: Bible verses referred to in each post are linked to open to the verses for your convenience.

We are not alone.

Well Played.

It takes a community.

Our Favorite Things.

Prayers answered

Moving in the right direction.

Signs, Wonders & Miracles

The Power of Music

Life-giving Water

Teach me to be Humble.

Learning to trust.

God's Footprints.

Departures-Moving on.

Simply "Pete"...

We are just passing through.

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