Blog Posts

Leading the Way.

6/11/2016

Bruce Lee’s tenacity and determination to get back on his feet, after a spinal cord injury, in his biographical movie “Dragon” – served as a great way to explain to David how to work his arms and legs. He would mimic Lee’s movements and would stretch his arms to the back of his head. I was so appreciative of great movies like Dragon with such a positive and powerful message. David would tolerate longer periods of time sitting upright on the bed, which meant he was working his core muscles.

Sue and Hector Luis came to visit and David just laughed listening to their stories. He also enjoyed the visit of Uncle Carlos, Catherine, Josh, Christina and her baby boy Crimson. David was starting to be more attentive with every visit and followed the conversations.

Feeding David became a bit challenging. He would get agitated and stop eating or kept the food in his mouth. Every meal would be delivered and picked up at a scheduled time so I had to make sure he ate before they would pick up his plate. The dietician would always check the amount of food each patient had consumed. My concern was that if he lost weight, a feeding peg would have to be reinserted. The nurses and I came to the conclusion that David was no longer amused with puree food so, nurse Ms. Pam mentioned of ordering the next level type of food that would include chopped vegetables and rice.

With so many rainy days in Miami - being able to spend some time at the patio or at the front yard of the nursing home was sporadic. My schedule was the same every day. It had now been 5 months away from home, away from my own bed, from cooking in my own kitchen and from spending time with Jorge. I longed to see our dogs Princess and B-boy and my cat Calle. I was in for the long run but, I also knew I could “burn out” easily so I continuously prayed for peace when I felt anxious, for joy when I would become sad, for strength when I would feel weak. I also knew God never gives us more than what we can bear.

I specifically remember one morning, as I was about to leave my car to enter the nursing home, my stomach became a huge knot. I was experiencing high anxiety. I just wanted to sit in my car, not move and just cry. But, David was waiting for me. I had to move and had to get over this paralyzing sensation. I practically yelled for help from God and Our Lady. I expressed how there was no way I could go through the day feeling this way. I got out of the car, walked into the nursing home and attended to David. Then it dawned on me - when I got in my car around 10 pm - the anxiety had vanished during the entire day. God had come to my assistance. There was no doubt in my mind and in my heart that Mother Mary had been interceding for me. The anxiety had been real… but God’s Spirit had carried me all day long. I truly believe in the power of prayer. I don't know how else to tell others how much bigger God is.

I daydreamed of transferring David to a facility in Orlando but kept reminding myself that the signs of moving would come to us at the right time.

I also prayed for the gift of speech for him and trusted it would happen at the appropriate time as well.

One October Sunday evening, as Jorge, Eddy, Karina and I finished dinner at Sergio’s; I shared my longing for home. We discussed some thoughts, possibilities and considered all the factors involved.

Then Eddy looked at me and with an authoritative confidence told me that he promised I would be home within the next 90 days, which meant by mid January. I knew moving back home entailed much and many people. It required the right decisions to ensure David would not loose any medical services. Even though I had already declared that I would stay in Miami regardless of how long it took, contemplating bringing David home soon infused a new vigor in me.

The next morning I told David about the tentative plan that Jorge and Eddy were working to send us back home within the next 90 days. I don’t recall if someone had said this or I had read it somewhere but all I kept thinking was that “where there is a vision, God has the provisions”.

I wrote down on a poster board, the numbers 90 down to 1 and crossed out the 90. The next day we would cross out 89 and so forth. I told him to point at the number he thought we would be moving and he pointed on 35 and then pointed at 36.

We would not share this with anyone at the nursing home until we knew this was what God had in mind. We would continue to walk in faith making sure we wouldn’t move further or faster than what God wanted. We constantly asked the Lord for a sign.

The following week, Jorge flew to his niece’s wedding in Puerto Rico. He was saddened to leave us behind but had the mission of taking lots of pictures to show us when he would be back.

David would enjoy the events available at the home. Certain days of the week in the lunchroom, therapist Harold would pass out hand weights and dance Cumbias (a typical dance from South America), encouraging the home residents to exercise. On Sundays, a couple would visit and gather residents in a meeting room and prayed the rosary. There would be ice cream days at the patio with tropical music in the background. There were also movie days with popcorn.

The staff would decorate the front lobby according to the festivity, which cheered up the home. Once the decorations for Halloween went up, it disheartened me to think we would spend the holidays at the nursing home.

Jorge had visited and requested information on short and long term stay, in-patient and outpatient at several places in Orlando for David. I began making phone calls and finding out the criteria and admission requirements. A representative from one of the facilities that Jorge liked the most, would be in town the following week and mentioned he could pass by to evaluate David and asses if he would be a candidate for their program.

David’s social worker had to arrange any changes in services so I spent some time with her explaining our plan of exploring various places in Central Florida and asked for her support and help.

Therapists Julissa and Harold.

David’s therapists continued to compliment his efforts and believed he was ready for a more aggressive rehab program. They promised they would be praying for us to find the place that would be the right fit for him. A staff member mentioned that taking David home was the right thing to do.

All of a sudden it seemed as if everyone around us was on the same page and wanted us to know it was time to consider moving. I started making phone calls and researching for options.

We didn't know when or where but it felt as if the Lord was leading the way back home.

(Romans 12:12; 1 Corinthians 10:13)

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Do Not Fear.

6/1/2016

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Dona Luisa, the 92 year old resident at the nursing home, came to visit us and gave David a Divine Mercy prayer card that I had given her a few days before. She was so happy she had something special to offer to him. It was wonderful to think that my gift to her would come back to us along with her joy of giving. We have learned and experienced the blessing in giving and also in receiving.

She liked to call David – “bulls eyes” and would laugh about it. We thanked her and off she went pushing her wheelchair down the hallway. Dona Luisa had been a well renowned clothes designer and seamstress back in her country of Argentina. By her looks you could tell that she must have been a beautiful woman. She would dressed color coordinated and wore fantasy jewelry every day. Her Spanish was perfect with her Argentinean accent and carried herself with a distinguished flair. She had no family in the US and constantly talked about going back home.

During this time, a few nurses had mentioned about a young man who had suffered a TBI and who had been in David’s room two years prior. His mother wanted to meet us to what I agreed. When she entered the room, I could read the anguish in her face and I held her as if I knew her. She started crying and repeatedly said that she would pray for David. I promised I would do the same for her son. Her son had only been a few months at the nursing home when she arranged to care for him at home. After two years, he continued being fed through a tube and remained with a trache. I was overwhelmed to imagine the uncertainty of dealing with the reality of a TBI without the help of a medical staff such as all those that surrounded David.

I prayed that fear would not take over any decisions regarding us leaving the nursing home - while I dealt with the deep longing of going back home and caring for David myself in our own corner with our own routines, etc. I kept reminding myself that my deep love for David could not interfere with God’s divine plans. I had to learn to discern and keep my ears, eyes and heart open to see His signs.

Stacey, the ST diagnosed David having Apraxia of speech. Apraxia is not a problem with language comprehension, instead it refers to the difficulty with certain motor movements to initiate and perform speech regardless of the desire to speak and the mouth and tongue muscles physically able to form words. Another form of apraxia affects a person's ability to intentionally move arms and legs.

We all missed David’s voice and wondered when he would speak again and which first word he would say. That same day a special friend told me not to fear because “there is no Apraxia for God”, to what invaded my heart with peace and hope.

Jorge and David

One afternoon, Jorge and I were talking to each other and as I laid my arms on David’s legs at the end of the bed, he made a movement that scared me to the point of jumping off the edge of the bed and this action made David laugh. We were in shock – David was laughing. Jorge and I started laughing about what had happened and at the same time, we laughed of joy hearing David’s laugh. It was as if he had awakened to a different level.

Now that David was eating and gaining weight, the feeding milk was taken away. We waited for the hospital to give us an appointment to remove the abdominal peg feeding tube. He also was able to hold his head up straight so his wheelchair was changed to one with no head support. He was stepping up.

To our surprise, Chris and Steven came to visit David. They had visited at the hospital and remained close to us with messages and prayers. They had been friends of our sons for over 15 years. They went to middle and high school together. They had played sports together, worked and partied together and we knew their visit would be special. At one point Chris told David - “I don’t know her”, - to what David burst into laughter with intensity. By remembering the inside joke, he demonstrated his long-term memory was working.

For the removal of the peg, David had to be fasting and his blood pressure had to be normal in order to proceed. We had everyone praying for the procedure. Jorge and I arrived real early and left to Jackson Memorial hoping all would go well. We kept reminding ourselves not to fear because we knew who was in charge. To our amazement, David stood still during the 3-hour wait and his blood pressure remained normal the whole time. Because he was so relaxed, they proceeded without sedation or IV and the removal was a success.

We got to the nursing home in time for dinner and Ana Carolina brought David a special red velvet cupcake to celebrate the accomplishment. She always had these details that made every moment special.

A few days later, Ana Carolina shared the song, “Please don’t go” and mentioned how much she missed talking with David and hanging out with him.

She was constantly checking that I would be OK and kept planning for the day David would go visit their apartment. Whenever she could, she would arrange for me to stay in bed a few extra hours in the morning while she would attend to David or she would take care of him in the evening so I could go to the apartment, shower and lay in bed watching “Shrek, which became my favorite movie and must have watched it 100 times.

They continued to do away with medications as David showed improvement. He would still get agitated once in a while but was becoming more aware as well. Jorge would continue to travel twice a week to see us. He was preparing to fly to Puerto Rico for the wedding celebration of his niece Cristina. My sister Gaby and mom were in Europe visiting France and Rome. My sister Noemy and Hector were getting ready to visit us again.

There had been so many accomplishments; I couldn’t wait for them to see how much David had improved.

Hector and Noemy were on their way to be with us again.

There are two kinds of fear. The type of fear, which gives us the necessary hold to ponder before making decisions and which reduces compulsiveness and promotes reverence – this is the type of fear we need to be encouraged. The other type of fear is the one, which paralyzes us from making changes to move forward and grow, that which pushes us to rush into situations or keeps us stagnant resulting many times in despair - this is the type of fear we need to overcome. God has promised to guide us and fill us with courage. Once we learn to trust in God, it is possible to overcome the fear to confront the challenges ahead of us.

Ephesians 1:17-19

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We are not alone.

5/19/2016

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Our days now included the meal schedules. David was placed on a soft diet such as applesauce, yogurt, thickened water, gelatin, etc. He would gradually be introduced to puree and then solids. I fed him every meal and monitored that he would swallow every bite. One time, his right cheek got swollen and we figured it had been an allergy reaction to possibly pineapple and was relieved when it subsided. He was handling the food so well that was upgraded to puree in no time.

The hardest task was convincing Eddy that David wasn’t ready for a “Malta” and chicken empanada or the ham croquettes which Ana Carolina would bring him from “la cafeteria – The Sandwich King”. The only outside food that got the approval was the “flan” that Jorge insisted he had to have when he was in town. We all hoped that David would continue to improve so that he could enjoy the traditional holiday thanksgiving dinner, which was approaching quickly.

During this time, the Psychiatrist stopped 2 prescriptions including one that is prescribed for Parkinson, which could cause hallucinations. We were moving forward.

Family and special friends visited and brought the joy, the stories and special treats. My sister Noemy and brother in law Hector would bring me delicious lunch and coffee and a tray of special treats for the nursing staff when they were visiting. As it was their tradition, they would coordinate and gather all the children, aunts and cousins to have dinner together at favorite spots in the area.

Other special family visits such as Uncle Mayito and Tia Tere, Uncle Ruben, Manny and Aunt Flor would witness the constant progress.

As we celebrated that my sister Gaby would be close to us as she settled in from Orlando to her new place, about 20 minutes away from Miami, it broke our hearts to say goodbye to CNA Norma who was leaving the nursing home. It was a roller-coaster of emotions. We felt so blessed surrounded by so many beautiful people who helped us in our journey.

One afternoon, as I returned from a coffee brake to watch David in the physical therapy room, therapists Julissa and Harold mentioned that David had been fighting with them and explained that confusion and agitation was part of the recovery process from a severe TBI.

Agitation after TBI is an excessive global psychomotor activity, inappropriate to the environment, and may be a manifestation of delirium but frequently exists independently of it. It occurs in up to 70% of TBI patients and it often stems from disorientation and over stimulation. It can be very challenging to manage these agitation episodes. Because it may result in physical harm to the patient, it becomes very stressful for everyone involved. Before medicating an agitated TBI patient, efforts are made to eliminate over stimulation such as limiting visitors, limit lighting and in extreme cases - physically restraining the patient if necessary. After an episode, which can last a few minutes to a few hours, the TBI patient becomes exhausted.

The next morning, as I was feeding breakfast to David, he started yelling. He was having an agitation episode. It became frightening and frustrating. He still had food in his mouth and I quickly removed it hoping he wouldn’t close his mouth and bite me or choke on it. He kept yelling and moving in his bed. I tried to hold him to offer comfort but all of his body was shaking and moving. It was hard to watch him battle this agitation episode on his own. I knew I had to wait it out with him.

Ana Carolina came in a few minutes later and saw my agony. She insisted I leave him with her for the rest of the day so I could get some rest at her place. Nurse Rose came in and insisted on Ana’s proposal and I left. I prayed and cried all the way back to the apartment. There was no room for setbacks. I kept asking myself how long would the agitation phase last and what would be the ramifications? Masses were being offered. People who had not prayed in years were now doing so for David. We were not alone. For the next few weeks, I would just sit next to him and hold his hand - when it was possible - and waited for it to stop. It reminded me of the storming episodes back at the hospital. They finally became less frequent and then one day it ended.

A few nights later, as I prayed for God's will to be done, an overpowering emotion of us moving back home soon - got a hold of me. I knew God was in charge and because he makes every - and any plan perfect, I would wait for the signs and not become anxious.

David started moving the right leg more often. The removal of the feeding tube was being considered as he continued to tolerate the food and kept gaining weight.

Now that David was eating, I learned he was able to travel out of the nursing home to the mall, a park or anywhere we wanted with a special permission. I arranged a visit to the transportation office to get the paperwork and David’s ID in order to do so. I was thrilled just imagining how he would react. Our first trip would be to Eddy and Ana’s apartment and then probably to church. He would like that.

The physical therapy sessions became very productive. David could follow all the commands, such as moving his trunk forward and backwards as they requested. Stacy, the speech therapist took David on a date to the vending machine so that he would count the amount of money he needed to buy a chocolate chip cupcake and an orange soda as part of his cognitive therapy and food texture upgrade. He enjoyed every minute of it.

One afternoon, as we waited outside on the sidewalk for the transportation van to pick us up, after a visit to David’s primary physician’s office, a young man named Raul passed in front of us on his bicycle. All of a sudden he turned around and proceeded to tell us that the Holy Spirit had asked him to turn around and pray for David. The prayer was so powerful that it had to have been guided by the Holy Spirit. He then mentioned that David would walk and talk and left. Not even 2 minutes later a gentleman passed us by and as he blessed David he said that David would be OK. The Lord was speaking to us. We were not alone.

John came to watch B-Boy videos with David.

Hector Luis and John came to see David and watched B-boy videos with him. Before leaving, Hector Luis placed his watch on David’s arm. David loved watches so we knew this was a positive stimuli. He kept staring at the watch until he fell asleep that night.

The following evening I went to a healing prayer at church. It was powerful. The message was about the Lord’s promise to take care of our children and that He is always with us.

We all have days full of sorrows and distress. We can choose to allow these moments to twist us into darkness and burden others around us or choose to allow God to give us the fortitude to serve others so that His Love can dwell in us. All we have to do is ask. He will never forsake us.

(Isaiah 41:10; Deuteronomy 31:8; Matthew 28:20)

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Well Played.

5/2/2016

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There was a lot of preparation for the swallowing test. Speech therapist Stacy trained us on exercises to practice several times a day to get David ready. If he would fail the test – we would have to re-apply after 3 months for the next one.

We would talk about how much he had practiced during high school for basketball, baseball and football and how, “practice makes perfect” so, every day we practiced and practiced and practiced some more.

Swallowing is controlled by the brain, which sends signals to muscles in our throat and esophagus. With neurological problems such as a brain injury, patients may have difficulty initiating and executing a swallow. With Dysphagia, which is the medical term for difficulty swallowing, patients may choke on their food and/or experience aspiration. Aspiration is the medical term for inhaling small particles of food or drops of liquid into the lungs. Aspiration may occur without anyone knowing if the amount of food or liquid is small (Silent Aspiration). The first sign of aspiration may be trouble breathing or signs of pneumonia.

Not only did we hope David could taste food again, we learned that the muscles involved in the process of eating could improve David’s speech ability. Also research concerning nutrition and its relationship to brain function, cognition, learning and social behavior confirmed that nutrition has a direct effect on neurotransmitters which are important in sending messages from the body to the brain.

The swallowing test was a very significant milestone in his rehabilitation. I arrived at the nursing home very early the day of. When I got to David’s room, several CNAs were already getting him ready. Arrangements had been made with transportation and all the paperwork was signed and prepared for the hospital staff. After all the practice, the day had arrived. Excitement was in the air. They wished us luck and off we went to Jackson Memorial Hospital. I prayed that David would not get agitated and instead would remain relaxed and focused on swallowing.

I signed him in at the lobby and waited. It felt like an eternity before they called us to a window and after I explained the reason for our visit, the attendant mentioned that David was not on “the list”. My heart plummeted. The lady said David could not be seen and that we had to leave. I told her I had received a call confirming the appointment and I insistently begged her to check with a supervisor.

As she turned around, I wanted to cry but I had no time so I turned to prayer instead. I didn’t stop praying until the attendant came back to the window. I couldn’t read the decision by looking at her so, as she got set to tell me, I just held my breath ready to accept God’s will. She then proceeded to explain that there must have been a mix up because David was not on their list but that the pathologist was indeed waiting for him upstairs. I was so happy I had not left at the first obstacle but persisted on the task instead. I walked to the elevators as fast as I could as if there existed a possibility that someone would change their minds and turn us back.

The hospital’s speech language pathologist (SLP) welcomed us with a smile. She showed us the different textured food prepared for the test, which included yogurt, applesauce, thickened liquids and a few cookies. This would be the first time David would try solids after 4 months. I wondered how he would react. Two assistants sat David in front of an X-ray machine and then escorted me to a hidden room where I could see David through a glass window.

There was a monitor, which would make David’s throat, the pharynx (back of mouth and throat) and the esophagus (a hollow tube of muscle extending from below the tongue to the stomach) visible on X-ray. We would see it live, as it would be occurring.

The SLP began the test by introducing yogurt and as she showed David the spoon, he opened his mouth indicating his brain automatically responded to the action expected. I could see the food on David’s tongue. The radiologist in the small room said, “it was not good”. He had to propel the food to the back so that it would quickly pass through the pharynx and then into the esophagus or swallowing tube.

During my children’s school years sports events, I was their most spirited cheerleader. Now I felt like shouting, “go David you can do this”. The suspense was rising when all of a sudden David pushed the food to the back and down went the yogurt. We were all relieved. Then he tested for the applesauce, the thickened liquids and the cookies. Like a star, he tackled each sample and hit goal bite after bite. They congratulated us and off we went to share the victory.

I kept hugging and cheering David as we waited for the transportation van to pick us up. A whole new world had just opened for him. Back at the nursing home everyone: the nurses, techs, Ms. Martin, Carmen the nutritionist, Mr. John, Idalis and her son Andy, Ruben and others congratulated us as they would hear the news. He would start by eating soft foods, then puree and gradually to solids. As David would manage regular meals, the feeding tube would also be removed.

The order was in for the next day. A soft breakfast for Bed 1 – David Arroyo.
Unbelievable – David would have his own breakfast being served. He would enjoy the fruit of his hard work and efforts.

As I left for the evening, I kissed him good night and whispered as he slept “Well played David, well played”!

We are made strong in the Lord. He gives you the strength to stand firm and take what is yours without loosing fate.

(2 Cor 4:16-18; 2 Chronicles 15:7; Psalm 31:24)

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It takes a community.

4/17/2016

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My cousin Kim and son TJ

We constantly worked on different cognitive exercises to sharpen David’s memory such as color and shape puzzles, picture and word recognition games. My cousin Kim had sent him various educational books and a Leapfrog phonics board, which we used to practice on alphabets and numbers. He would follow my actions drawing circles and squares using crayons and played memory game. It was accelerated classes to open years of education files that were stored. I referred myself as his coach and worked his arms and legs constantly. Ana Carolina and David's friend Kimberly would love to watch the “Step Up 3" movie and B-Boy DVD's competitions with him, play memory or card games and hang out. We kept David busy working every day.

Speech therapist Stacy placed the order at Jackson Memorial Hospital for the swallowing test, which we looked forward to and prayed it would be soon. The tracheotomy incision was healing well and he continued to breath 100%.

During the following weeks loved ones – grandma “Mama Aby”, brother Fernando, my sister Gaby and James, little cousin Chris, my uncle Rick and my sister Lucy came to spend time with us.

Fernando continued to wrestle with David's new reality.

Fernando continued to have a hard time accepting David’s injury. Because he remained in Central Florida, I believed it made it harder to grasp the process like the rest of us who lived the issues and saw David every day.

During his visit, he had David close his eyes and listen to a music CD he had prepared for him. Music and dance had always been the strongest common ground amongst them. I knew David was enjoying every moment of it.

David stared at grandma “Mama Aby” with such intensity as if he wanted to talk to her. She prayed and spoke to him about beautiful memories and things to look forward to such as the trip to Portugal, which they would go together. Gaby would work on repeating gestures as nodding yes and no and mentioned how within her every three weeks visits David’s cognitive progress was evident. Uncle Rick recommended the use of HD earphones for David to listen to music. When my sister Lucy came in the room, David kept looking at her and at me several times to what appeared to me as if he was placing her into context as he held her hand and did not want to let go of her.

Lucy

Mama Aby

Gaby

Rick

Cousin Catherine and son Christopher

I was especially touched by the visit of my cousin Catherine’s youngest son Christopher. Because of his age, I expected he would be shocked at David’s situation - but instead – his warmth and tenderness towards David was unique and genuine. There was no need for words. In silence, they both looked at each other expressing their affection for one another. It reminded me of Jesus’ words on becoming like a child who are simple and true at heart. I just observed and prayed for that endearing moment which filled my heart with joy and hope.

There were difficult moments as well - during this time. After three weeks, it was time to say goodbye to Kimberly whom we had gotten accustomed to have around. It was obvious that it became hard for her to leave. Two days later, as Fernando hugged David goodbye, he reached out with his left arm and hugged him back and they both cried. Mama Aby went back home and my heart felt compressed like a raisin. I would miss having her support and unique loving care and I knew David would too. There is nothing like a mother’s presence.

David’s reaction to certain actions such as fixing the earphones, hugging or opening his mouth when presented with a spoon was labeled by the therapists “with purpose” and considered improvement in his condition.

We would always be ready and prepared if there was an opening at therapy to quickly take David to work for as many as four times a week. He learned how to place small pegs into a board to work on fine motor skills. He would hold the weight bars as if he would remember going to the gym.

They worked on his balance and posture. From not being able to lift his head and keeping it straight without support - to holding it up on his own was a miracle on its own. The therapists were always so motivated to work with David. Each one of them became our angels.

A new task was visiting the computer room. David watched attentively to every one of my moves. I named every part of the computer: mouse, monitor, websites, browsers, clicks etc. I wondered if he would recall his own business website which he had spent hours and resources perfecting and working on to become a beautiful site. When he saw the page of “Elevated Entertainment” pull up, it felt as if time stood still. Observing David’s gaze at the site pages, I could imagine all these brain wires searching and linking to old files.

When I played Fernando’s youtube video, he cried. This event proved to me that David was recognizing moments and events. For the subsequent visits, David would watch the neighbors use the mouse and imitated them.

One afternoon my heart stopped as David figured out how to move the wheelchair with his left arm as we watched this other young man race up and down the hallway with his wheelchair. I wished soon I would hold a competition between them. It must have felt good to have the ability to move independently, I thought.

After David had fallen asleep one evening, his roommate Stucky asked me for a kiss good night and gave me one too. With a childlike smile he turned to his side pleased I had agreed to his request. I meditated how a simple kiss on the cheek had this great effect on this young man.

There was a real world in this home that made me constantly wonder how I could help. In the meantime I would bring “coladitas” or shots of coffee to the 4 to 5 men who would line up at the lobby waiting for my arrival every morning. I would listen to the same stories of 92 years old – Dona Luisa who would invite me to visit her mother and we would walk around in circles at the back patio pretending to walk towards the bus stop. I would accompany Danny at the lobby who would wait for his mother for lunch every day whom had been anxiously trying to take him home for the last 3 years. I would look for Mr. John who was teaching David how to fist bump or help find brain game websites for patients who would call me, as I would pass by the computer room.

David and I at the back patio.

In the middle of our ins and outs with David, these people brought a unique perspective to our lives. It was a whole new world. This small community of patients, nurses and other employees were the stories that matter and the thoughts we carried in our hearts and prayed for. I looked forward to seeing them every day.

After two weeks, we received the call from the hospital – David’s swallowing test was scheduled for the following week. We lifted prayers of thanksgiving and mobilized all prayer warriors for it to be successful.

Leaving at night was difficult as David became more aware. He would get agitated as I would get ready to leave. I would stay as long as I could, many times up till 10 pm waiting for him to fall asleep. I continuously thought of taking care of David back home. Jorge began to research for options. The decision involved many people, services, paperwork and special permissions. As a family, we agreed that we would move forward as the Lord would open doors and at the time He would chose.

It is such a broken world. We are so easily entertained with trivial things and events, which only cater to our senses - that we miss the true important opportunities to connect with others who are in need of a smile, a caring gesture or a simple conversation.

(1 Peters 3:3-4; Colossians 3:12-13; Matthew 18:3)

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Our Favorite Things.

3/21/2016

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One of our favorite movies to watch was Brother Sun, Sister Moon which is the story of St. Francis of Assisi. Every time I watched it, the thought that St. Francis had suffered a brain injury always crossed my mind. At that time, the effects of a brain injury was probably not even known. The other favorite movie was Dragon, the Bruce Lee story where it shows his life journey including his full recovery through therapies and workouts after suffering a severe back injury.

David loved to see Jorge every time he showed up. I would love to hear the details of Fernando back home and the dogs, the house, and our church community. I would love to laugh at his same jokes or listen to the music he would play and sing for David.

I knew that for the time Jorge was in town, I didn’t have to worry about what to eat because he always found the right things to get.

One of Jorge’s favorite places was “El Palacio de los Jugos”. Tia Flor would prepare these fabulous meals especially when Jorge would be in town. Still to this day, he often requests I cook the “Mustard-Spinach baked chicken” she used to prepare.

Once in a while Ana Carolina or Eddy would cook and we would eat together. We also became big fans of “Pollo Tropical”. It was always special when Jorge was around.

Tia Flor introduced us to “Dancing with the Stars” and soon it became another favorite thing to do.

On one of Ana Carolina’s trip back from Orlando, she drove Tony to see David.

Tony had been part of our family for over a decade. He was another son to us and a brother to all our children. They went to school together, worked out together, did martial arts together, break-danced together and grew in their faith together.

They had this special connection, which bestowed on each one of them an implicit brotherhood oath. This type of oath was comforting to the soul because it was genuine and good in intention and value. I wondered once more on David’s reaction and if he would recognize him.

When Tony approached David’s bed, David looked at him and then looked at me and repeated this gesture several times. I could see he had recognized Tony and how seeing David impacted Tony as well.

During the following days David’s speech therapist introduced him to lollipops as part of his swallowing training. As soon as Ana Carolina found out, she immediately ran to buy the biggest bag of lollipops available in every flavor known. This became David’s favorite thing to do.

Kimberly, David and I watching pictures

David & Kimberly

David enjoyed every lollipop.

Kimberly monitoring David swallowing.

We would take turns giving him lollipops and monitoring his throat making sure he would swallow after each taste. We were thrilled that David could at least taste the lollipops every time he would smell the roommates’ meals.

One of my favorite things was having dinner with Tia Flor and afterwards listening to a few chapters of her book over coffee & hot tea. Tia had written beautiful tales for years, which we all loved to listen to. Her current work was the biography of our family called “Branches, an Epic Biography of a Central American Family”. After partaking in a DNA ancestry blood test, along with her brother, my uncle Carlos, they were able to trace back hundreds of years of family lineage and migration paths of our ancestors. She then, relentlessly committed herself to the undertaking of sharing the history made in the places were our family journeyed leaving a path for future generations to learn of the contributions and experiences they lived. The book was to publish in a couple of months so Tia would be constantly editing, gathering pictures and finalizing details.

Tia Flor

One of the entries in my journal at this time simply read:
Jericho – 7th day – 7th month. I don’t recall the reason I recorded it but as it turned out… it would eventually reveal a unique chain of events that would again show God’s plan, His almighty love and mercy.

Removing the tracheotomy tube turned into a distressing task. My trust in the Lord grew tenfold during this process. David’s speech therapist believed he was ready for the swallowing test but the tube had to be removed first and the opening completely healed before we could ask for the test. Word had it that getting an appointment at the JM Hospital could take months. I was determined to make every effort possible so that all we would need was the authorization from the nursing home doctor to have it done.

I knew God was guiding us so I prayed that we would connect with the right person to answer the phone calls and those processing the requests. I prayed that as God would move the hearts of the people who were in charge of this procedure, they would respond to His voice in order to get this done. At first I got the run around, no one could tell me anything regarding the steps to take and the response was always that I had to wait for a call back. Nurse Wesley got me several phone numbers to bypass the gatekeepers. It was a trying moment. I didn’t give in to the thought that God had abandoned us. I knew His wonders and miracles are done through us so, I continued praying for everyone who in some way or form would get involved.

Barry, Kimberly's dad.

Barry, Kimberly’s dad consulted with his doctor friends to find about the procedure and mentioned it was a quite simple procedure. My uncle Dr. Carlos volunteered to remove it at the nursing home as well as Dr. Sanchez from Jackson MH but the doctor at the home, Dr. St. Vil explained that protocol had to be followed and that meant for them to refer the cases to the hospital and wait. It felt as if for every effort additional obstacles would get in the way. One afternoon I broke in tears. Nurse Rose said that I should not look at the external things but to stay focused on my role. My mom said God would use all the efforts as part of His plan and Kimberly, said that God knew it was tough times but to trust Him because He was in charge. OK – I dried my eyes and got back on the mission.

God moved the hearts of so many beautiful people supporting and walking along with us. Every word they said, every prayer they lifted up and even every cup of coffee shared not only did it help to make the journey bearable but it was as if God was caressing us through each one of them. Even in the waiting, God had a plan.

As we waited for the appointment from the hospital, David continued to show improvement. He started to be able to stay sitting up for 4 hours. His physical therapist, Coach Harold, as we called him, would come to stretch him and as I counted in English, Harold would count in Spanish to help David regain speech memory.

Ana Carolina

One evening, Kimberly and Ana Carolina came to see David and we were talking about the trache tube. We watched a video of the removal procedure and we discussed on waiting for a sign. Then as David was being transported back to the room after his shower, CNA Blair told me David had coughed out the tube cap. Ana Carolina, Kimberly and I looked at each other in silence. This was the sign I had mentioned earlier. As I dressed David, the collar Velcro got loose and out came the tracheotomy tube. Still in disbelief of what had occurred, I called the head nurse and the crew came in to check on David.

The respiratory therapist and head nurse agreed he was breathing 100% and covered the incision.Now we only had to wait 24 hours for it to close. Mission accomplished!

“Without God... I can’t - but without me... God won’t.”
(St. Augustine). We think of all those who respond to the movement of their hearts inspired by the Lord to help accomplish His purpose in His divine plan for each other. We pray that we may never create a delay, an obstacle or block to these blessings by ignoring the calling to do the noble things that are placed in our hearts.

(Amos 3:7; 1 John 4:12; John 14:12)

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Prayers answered

3/8/2016

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Kimberly called and told us she would be in Miami for 3 weeks. This was a very special visit.

David and Kimberly met around 2004 at Bayside Hut in Key Biscayne and dated for about 4 years. We all became very close to her. Even though they each went their own separate ways, they remain good friends.

David always kept a special space in his heart for Kimberly.

On the day of the accident, she was flying for summer vacation to her hometown, Trinidad & Tobago. Her flight had a layover in Miami, which allowed David to spend some time with her. After dropping her off at the airport and on his way to work, he called me to share his joy of having been with her and said he would call me back. About 3 hours later, I received the call about his accident instead.

We all knew Kimberly’s visit would be important even if David was still confused and in a daze. I wondered what reactions would he have and if he would remember her at all. I prayed that her presence would spur new connections for David.

As soon as Kimberly entered the room David watched her come in and as she got closer, he looked intently at her. The way he looked at her was evident that he indeed had recognized her.

Then he started voicing with the Aaaaaaah like never before. I cried with happiness because in my heart, that was the reaction I had hoped for.

As she spoke to David, he saw she was wearing the ring he had given to her while they dated. It filled my heart with joy. For the first time he alluded to an event from his memory. I wondered what else he would remember.

Kimberly shared pictures and memories.

We spent the day sharing and talking about all that had occurred, and next steps.

The next day, after mass the priest announced about the candles to support the grotto of the Virgin of Fatima located behind the church. I couldn’t believe what I had heard. Not only was the church named Saint Michael the Archangel, it also had a grotto dedicated to the apparitions of the Virgin Mary of Fatima, in Portugal. On the Sunday before David’s accident - where we celebrated Mothers Day together, he had invited his grandmother to Portugal to visit the grotto. David had a special love for Our Lady of Fatima. You can imagine my joy. Another sign – I went and prayed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grotto

A grotto is often a small cave such as the well-known apparitions of Our Lady of Lourdes to Bernadette Soubirous took place in a grotto, which is visited by many Catholics.

Numerous garden shrines are modeled after these apparitions, and can commonly be found displayed in gardens and Churches.

The following week was full of exciting events: at physical therapy, they stood David up and he was able to endure for 10 minutes.
At the front patio, David caught the ball in the air playing with Eddy and we all cheered.

Sebastian and David.

Sebastian and Alex

Cousin Alex brought David’s co-worker Sebastian to visit and it was great to witness his love and caring heart.

Joy came to visit David.

Another special visit was Joy, Kimberly’s mom. As Joy was saying goodbye, David suddenly grabbed the Divine Mercy necklace she was wearing. She acknowledged he had given it to her and was amazed he had taken notice of it. How thrilling that David had experience another memory recurrence. Kimberly kissed him goodbye and unexpectedly he lifted his head and began sobbing. David was crying for the first time. We all cried and hugged. Another miracle. I stayed with him until he fell asleep. It was so hard to leave.

It had been a day full of emotions. Before heading to Aunt Flor’s house, I stopped at the grotto to pray. I offered up my pain and sufferings.

When we offer up our sufferings, God does wonders with our humble offering.

Grotto to Our Lady of Fatima behind St. Michael the Archangel church on W. Flagler St. in Miami.

I offered my suffering for children in orphanages around the world. When I raised my eyes, a little girl was being lifted up by her father to kiss the statue of the Virgin of Fatima. It was as if I was witnessing my prayer being answered represented through the gesture of that father and daughter. A profound joy invaded my heart.

Our prayers are always heard. Thank you Lord for all the prayers answered – for those we see and for those we don’t see.

(Mark 11:24; Jeremiah 33:3; 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

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Moving in the right direction.

3/2/2016

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I continued to keep a journal of every development in David’s daily routine. The withdrawal of medications can be challenging so; I knew documenting reactions and changes would be valuable.

David was on 13 different medications to attend his respiratory and digestive system, for Parkinson and blood pressure, stimulants, depressants, muscle relaxants, anticoagulant, antibiotics, antacids and eye drops. All these were administered through the feeding tube. The concern of side effects and problems with the metabolism was always present. Some of the effects included hallucinations, agitation, confusion, nausea, seizures and restlessness. One of the medications with sedative properties was Baclofen to treat muscle spasms or spasticity. Spasticity is a muscle control disorder that is characterized by tight or stiff muscles and an inability to control those muscles (http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/pain-management-spasticity). A few possible side effects of Baclofen were drowsiness, dizziness and muscle weakness. I wondered how I would discern if David would be experiencing any of these effects because of the medications he was taking or because of the brain injury. I questioned if these medications would delay his mental alertness and cognitive improvement.

David would take long naps during the day. We also learned that after a Traumatic brain injury, many injured sleep an unusually long amount of time as the brain is trying to heal from the injury. Sleep is important because it helps in the rehabilitation process. (http://www.traumaticbraininjury.net/sleep-disturbances-and-tbi/) During sleep, muscles and soft tissues heal, scar tissue develops and the brain and body recharge.

Proper sleep follows regular and predictable rhythm cycles. When we sleep, our brain sets down memories and refreshes various connections that allow it to work. Quality sleep helps us think more clearly, be more alert, and function at our best in all areas: mental, physical, and emotional. It is also possible, especially after a serious injury, that the brain’s electrical rhythms be disrupted. As the brain and body heal from injuries, sleep patterns may become more normal. (https://healthonline.washington.edu/document/health_online/pdf/Sleep_Problems_Brain_Injury_11_08.pdf)

When breakfast, lunch or dinner was delivered to the room, David would be wide-awake. We knew he had not lost his sense of smell. Because of his injury, David received his nutrition through a feeding tube because it was considered unsafe for him to consume anything orally. Brain injury frequently affects the skilled coordination of the nerves and 26 different muscles in the neck and esophagus that are used during the normal swallowing process.
Therapy is necessary to rebuild the patients’ swallowing ability. (http://calder.med.miami.edu/pointis/tbifam/swal2.html).

Once in a while we would hold a piece of ice so he could practice swallowing. I would roll the curtains so that he wouldn’t have to watch his roommates eat.

Great and new happenings occurred during the following week. David moved his right hand and foot, which had not been active at all. His Physical Therapist, Julissa took him to stand up for the first time. He became more vocal with the Aaaaaah. He worked on puzzles with Gaby and mimicked her by shaping his mouth to try and vocal the O. Sue and Alex came to visit and Tio Mayito and Tia Tere came from Puerto Rico to spend time with us.

Tio Mayito visited from Puerto Rico.

We taught and prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet with his roommates Don Carlos and Stucky. He moved his tongue from side to side, which meant a step towards speech therapy and swallowing training. We were to expect a call regarding the removal of the tracheotomy tubes, which was the other important step on the way to eating real food. He had his first shower.
An important highlight that week was the visit of his barber Ziad who David always visited every two weeks. Zi gave him his first official haircut and spent time showing David some pictures of them together. It was great having him over.

Zi came to give him a haircut.

One afternoon Eddie & Jorge spent the day with David and Ana Carolina kidnapped me for the day. We went grocery shopping and went to her apartment. She had me watching TV enjoying some sushi as an appetizer, while she cooked sirloin, mash, mac/cheese & asparagus. It was great.

As we worked through the introduction of new experiences and the visit of loved ones, we looked forward to important events that would happen during the following weeks; especially the possibility of the tracheotomy removal, which was being seriously considered.

At the end of that week, I had a dream about the trach tube falling off. The next morning I found him with a new trach tube. It was as if we were especially connected. I prayed that removing the tube would be the next doctor’s orders. We would wait and see.

Waiting with patience and embracing the love of family and friends made our days joyful and peaceful. We knew we were moving in the right direction.

(Psalm 143:8; Psalm 27:14; Romans 15:5)

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Signs, Wonders & Miracles

2/17/2016

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Throughout this time, I had purposely avoided passing by the spot where David’s accident had occurred. My nephew Hector Luis, who had witnessed the accident, repeatedly commented how he couldn’t understand how David had not suffered any fractures as he was ejected from the motorcycle and thrown over about 60ft through and in between enormous pillars under the 1-95 overpass.

In one of Jorge’s visits I asked him to take me to where the accident had occurred and as we passed by, I offered a prayer in thanksgiving as I saw the pillars and wondered how he escaped from hitting one of the many. Only a miracle could explain it.

During the first weeks of his accident, my mother gave details of the image received of St. Michael the Archangel during a special intercessory prayer she offered for David, along with her community.

St. Michael the Archangel had an exceptionally special meaning for David. In the Catholic Church, each participant at Confirmation (a sacrament of initiation) gets to choose a Christian name such as a bible hero or of a saint and add it to his or her first and middle name. David chose Michael as his new name. He had a small figure statue, which reminded him to pray the St. Michael the Archangel protection prayer for him and others.

St. Michael The Archangel

Prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou,
O Prince of the Heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.

Angels are ministering spirits (Hebrew 1:14), created by God. Guardian angels help protect us from spiritual and physical harm (Acts 12:15; Matt 18:10). St. Michael the Archangel is a powerful warrior angel who engages in spiritual combat (Daniel 12:1).

To my amazement, the church I found next to the nursing home happened to be called St. Michael The Archangel Catholic Church on West Flagler Street. Its parishioners were very welcoming and I enjoyed their music and how the priest would walk amongst us during the homily. One of the Sunday’s messages that deeply touched my heart referred to how the flesh is weak but the Spirit is strong. How the Holy Spirit will intercede for us when we are confused or in turmoil and helps us to bear the burden especially when life trials seem overwhelming. God was talking directly to me.

I was spiritually moved by the fact that again, St. Michael the Archangel was a constant representation of God’s presence throughout this journey. I knew it was not a coincidence and more of a God-incident.

David had still not made any facial expressions. He had not laughed or cried since the accident. We didn’t know if he experienced pain at all. We guessed he enjoyed watching certain movies and videos of break dancing because he would pay close attention as we played them for him. The only noise he made was the occasional Aaaaahh.

One of the issues we learned early on - was the fact that at the nursing homes it was nearly impossible to receive enough physical therapy. I feared David would not get the attention needed to regain muscle mass, range of motion and other important skills. When we were notified of an assessment the therapists would be conducting to evaluate if David was qualified for therapy, we activated every prayer group, every saint and angel in heaven.

We hoped he would follow commands at the therapists’ request. We sat David in his wheel chair as they had asked. As they walked in the room, every bit of optimism ran through my veins. Julissa and Roxanne examined David from head to toe. They asked us a few questions. David responded to the majority of their commands. All of a sudden they both looked at each other and whispered out loud, “there is potential”. I wanted to hug each one so tight and cry but instead I thanked them and try to stay upright because it felt I was about to faint. David was on his way to physical and occupational therapy the following week. We would have a Care Plan meeting to establish goals. Another miracle. We celebrated this important step.

I remembered what Nurse Rose had mentioned a few days earlier, “not one leaf moves from a tree unless the Lord orders it”, she said and told me to read and pray Psalm 91. She continued to tell me that I had to learn my position through all that was happening because if not I would be all over the place without purpose. I prayed about it.

That same day in the evening and without knowing about my earlier conversation with Rose, my mother said to me over the phone, "You are accompanying David in his journey". Something about those words touched my heart.

That was the answer. My new role was to accompany David, to complement him, to be his companion, his partner. I was to take part in an undertaking with David. We would be working together on a special mission. I pondered this new role and prayed that I would not miss any sign, wonder and miracle along the way.

My new role as a companion had a significant perspective. I was still his mother but, this was different. David and I would spend a lot of time together. We would share experiences sometimes not expected or planned for. We would be constantly associated with each other. In our own identities, we would become comrades and serve one another. I prayed I would learn the role God invited me to be.

(Psalm 91:1; Romans 8:25, 27; Hebrews 2:4)

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The Power of Music

2/3/2016

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The following weeks gave us the opportunity to get into a new rhythm. The hospital’s equipment beeping all the time, the never ending vital checks and administering of medication, the medical staff visits every 2 to 4 hours, had been exchanged to a more loosen and laid back atmosphere which gave logic to its name of “home”. Knowing what to expect made me feel more comfortable.

I found extra time to research on brain injuries, next steps, organizations, support groups, anything and everything, which could shed light and guide us on our situation. This was a temporary home and nothing more. I had to explore our choices without jeopardizing David’s health. I wasn’t going to leave him and I couldn’t stay forever in Miami. The Lord would guide us, but I had to do my part.

Every day I looked forward to Ana Carolina bringing coffee or Eddie taking his lunch hour and spending time with us. Everyone was back to routine. Cousins would constantly call or pop in to say hello.

David slept a lot. I sat next to his bed and spent many hours reading, praying, and listening to classical music or CDs, which played sounds of rivers, the ocean or birds. One of our favorites was a Baroque Classical CD that Mama Aby had sent David. It became such a favorite on the floor, I ended having to get extra copies to give away to the nurses who wanted it to take home or play it to other patients. David’s roommates enjoyed falling asleep to this music, which seem to convey an array of human emotions.

On the first week of our arrival, I asked the floor staff about the young man who had been transferred from the hospital the same day as David. I learned that the private room, which originally was to be David’s ended up being prepared for this young man instead. I also learned he had no relatives staying with him. His family lived up north. My first thoughts were on the fact that if he had no need of a private room maybe I could arrange to swap rooms so I could stay at night with David.

After a few days, I asked if I could meet him. The nurse in charge asked I wore a mask before entering Mathew’s room. The door was half way open and the TV was on. I knocked on the door and walked in. Mathew was on his side facing the window. As I got closer, I introduced myself. Once I circled the bed to face him, my heart stood still. This handsome young man, David’s age, had a tracheotomy hooked to a respirator, a feeding tube, and a towel over his forehead. Half of his skull had been removed. His eyes were closed. I continued talking as if to make sure he wouldn’t know I was in shock. I wasn’t sure if he could understand but I told him I was down the hallway with my son David. I promised that I would pray for him, visit him again and left the room. At that moment I burst sobbing with compassion. I was so happy to know Mathew had the private room. I shared with David who Mathew was and we prayed together for him and his family.

The next day, I got a small CD player, marked it with Mathew’s name and brought the popular Baroque CD for him. I asked the nurses to exchange turning on the TV for music and to make sure the CD would play as much as possible for him. I knew music could do marvelous things for Mathew.

Music is important. There is power in music. Music affects our beings. We are spiritual beings and music is an expression of the soul. God created sounds. We discover music through sounds and create musical compositions through combinations of sounds. Nature is constantly creating music.

We write songs of love, songs of praise to God, lullabies to our children, carols for Christmas, hymns to our land, jingles to our sport teams. We use music to intensify a love theme or a dramatic one in films. The majestic type of music used at graduations, weddings or great finales can make one emotional. Music makes people re-live experiences, think of people and places in the past and reach out to emotions, which are embedded and unique to the songs playing.

Sound of Music

"Music significantly affects mood”. http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0018861. It has been proven to be an integral part of our mental health. It can soothe stress, build confidence, rouse enthusiasm, increase hostility, sadness, and tension, and it can help people feel optimistic and promote social behavior. The brain chemistry or neurological makeup has an effect on music. “When people listen to music, the brains produce dopamine --- the "pleasure chemical" also released by many drugs. When exposed to music (either listening or playing), young children's brains develop faster and with neural pathways that might not develop in any other way”. http://www.ehow.com/info_8765530_music-affect-mood-mind.html

Like everything else, music has also been tainted with ugly, to the extent that radio stations have created “safe” music model programs. Safe from profanity, safe from misconceptions, safe from twisted emotional expressions, safe from sexual innuendos. It is easy to get caught up with a melody or rhythm and not pay attention to the lyrics. When I listen to some pop music, it alarms me to think our society finds it acceptable and enjoyable to listen.

We have chosen to be influenced by anything in the name of the “right to speech”. For some it is hard to walk away, ignore or turn off entertainment with the wrong message or image. This ugly music undermines in more than one way, the dignity of human beings. It horrifies me to think this music is building new values to younger generations.

Music is powerful. If we filter what we listen for a considerable period of time, it will become easier to discern good music from the rest. We should become attentive in choosing the kind of music we listen to. Protect yourself from exposure to explicit music. Not all artists produce good things.

“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart”. (Luke 6:45)

(1 Peter 3:10; Colossians 3:8; Ephesians 4:29;
Ephesians 5:19)

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Life-giving Water

1/15/2016

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After making the decision of accepting David’s new temporary home, Eddy and I walked together to his room on the second floor. There we saw David sitting up in his wheel chair. He looked great. His CNA for the day, Norma had dressed him up and was making the bed. She even had the fan going so he wouldn’t sweat. Norma always carried a smile. She took pride in her care for David and was so gentle and kind to him.

CNA Norma was kind and gentle with David.

One morning I arrived to David’s room and found him covered in oil - head to toe. As I stroked my finger over his skin, wondering what this grease all over his hair, face, ears, and body meant, Norma came in, pleased of covering David with - what she called a miracle ointment.

She explained that this ointment would take care of the extreme dry skin David had developed, which is a immunodeficiency symptom due to the brain injury. This would protect his skin and would heal any open wound. In time I also became a huge fan of this ointment called Aquaphor.

It was sunny and breezy outside so Eddy and I took David to the front patio for the first time. In amazement, we watched David place his sunglasses on his own. Eddy started throwing a ball so it would land on a pillow, which we had laid over his lap.

We rejoiced watching David grab the ball. Even thou it seemed a simple reaction; we knew this meant his brain was responding and he was making connections. Throughout this time we had met other TBI survivors who weren’t able to respond to stimuli with a gesture or movement of any kind. So, David’s response was indicative that healing was occurring. We had also heard stories of a woman who after being in a vegetative state for about 2 years, woke up one day asking for a hamburger. Every story became important to us. And we shared our story with those we met at the facility.

Ana Carolina showed up with coffee and stayed with us. As I contemplated my children I reflected how brave they were and I told each one how much I loved them. Eddy simply responded that love was the most powerful force and that we had to love each other and everyone around us more than ever.

THE POWER OF LOVE

David’s accident had been a life-changing event. We were all hurting. I knew this was difficult for each one of them but they were ready to stand beside each other and face the complexity that this all meant for our family. Every day they made sure I was taken care of. Every day they made sure David would know how much he was loved. We surely were in this together. We also knew the Lord was blessing us.

We walked back to David’s room and talked a little more. As soon as Eddy and Ana left, CNA Blair helped me put David in bed. We watched what became our favorite DVD – a series of high definition beautiful documentaries which included episodes of stunning landscape and sceneries of mountains, fresh waters, caves, jungles, forests and ocean depth called “Planet Earth”. So much beauty spoke of God’s greatness and was very soothing for us.

Before I left, David and I prayed together and I played the music CD until he fell asleep. It was never easy to leave him at night but I also trusted in God’s plan. That evening I had dinner at Eddy and Ana’s place. Ana Carolina had made a delicious spaghetti dinner. I got to Aunt Flor’s home around 11pm. We talked about our day happenings and watched TV for a little while. I thought on how I have always loved her very much.

The first Saturday at the nursing home presented us with new experiences. Weekends were usually the days some patients would leave the facility to spend time with family members. Some would go to lunch, others would go to church and others would spend the whole day out. Transportation would be available on appointments and the staff would be frantically getting patients ready to be picked up with their permission slips.

These were the happiest days for Don Carlos. He loved going home to his wife and sons. He would repeat over and over the stories of his family and on how much he loved them. He required a lifter to get him on his wheel chair so there was also a lot of commotion in the room when the weekends would come around. Don Domingo would leave early in the morning to the patio and would not return until dinnertime. Stucky also required help to get out of bed but, once he would have breakfast, was shaved and dressed, he would wander around the facility and show up for lunch and later for dinner. David and I would have the room for us practically all daylong every Saturday and Sunday.

That Saturday at the front patio, we met Delia’s mom, her grandmother & her 1yr old baby girl Isabella. Delia had suffered a mayor stroke and was paralyzed needing constant care.

All of a sudden, baby Isabella began dancing for David. It was as if she knew David loved to dance and that he taught break dancing to children every Saturday. Even thou David could not express his emotions, I knew this had touched his soul. As I watched her dance and observed David, I thanked God for this little angel and in silence I danced for joy. God was certainly revealing himself in this place. Before they left, Delia’s grandmother approached me and gave me a very unusual suggestion. She told me to wash David’s feet with water. I thanked her and promised I would.

Once we got to the room, I grabbed a hospital bucket and filled it with warm water, a bar of soap and a towel. Not only I had promised to do so but, I realized David hadn’t had his feet submerged in water for over 2 months. David always enjoyed the beach and the pool so I thought the experience had to stimulate his brain and memory.

Sitting in his wheel chair, he observed everything I was doing. I kneel down in front of him, took off his shoes and socks and submerged his feet. He starred at his feet in the water and looked at me as if wanting to say something. David was reacting to this simple gesture. It brought tears to my eyes. I began scooping water with my hands and washed his feet. David was experiencing something new.

I couldn’t tell what he was thinking but I knew it was a loving-healing moment. I acknowledged God’s intervention when Delia’s grandmother had made the unusual suggestion. I was so happy to have followed through on what I had promised. This was life-giving water. At that moment, the image of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples came to mind. An overpowering joy invaded my being.

As Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, not only was He building them in humility and love but He revealed that true happiness is found in serving one another even in the middle of suffering. When we truly serve without expecting credit, reward or anything in return, we experience a unique sense of fulfillment and joy. It is through love that we can build each other. We are called to begin at home and with those closer to us. The more we serve the happier we become.

QUOTES:

“I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy.” ― Rabindranath Tagore

(Mark 10:45; Galatians 5:13; 1 Peter 4:10; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; John 7:37-39)

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Teach me to be Humble.

12/31/2015

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The next morning, I had this knot in my stomach realizing I was not going to be able to stay with David that evening. Examining the surroundings did not help ease my apprehension about the facility and wondered about the treatment that David would receive while I wasn’t there. Family and friends reassured me of their constant prayers and that is what I treasured the most. If God was with us, who could be against us?

Ana Carolina and I.

Then Ana Carolina told me that God had given me 24hrs/7days for 2 months next to David at the hospital. It was time for me to get real rest. “Stay strong mom, no matter what… there is no going back, we only move forward. Things will be okay”, she said.

This was going to be a longer journey that we had planned for. How long? Only God could know. I definitely needed to rest and remain strong as I continued to learn the ins and outs of what all this meant. I began writing down the new routines and the staff names. There were new procedures, new schedules and expectations from the CNA’s, the nurses and doctors. The administrator came to meet us and I thanked him for their understanding the night before.

David’s corner had a wide and tall window, which made me very happy. He would be able to see the world outside. His roommates were: Domingo, a 92 yr old man who had no family and had been living there for quite a while. Next was Don Carlos, a man in his 50’s who had fallen from a roof and hit his head on concrete, suffered a brain and spinal cord injury and remained at the facility for long-term care and therapy. Right in front was Stucky, a young man in his early 30’s whose left leg had been amputated and had been living at the facility for almost 2 years.

Nursing Home at NW 22nd Ave.

Many nurses and CNA’s came to meet David and those in charge of him would refer to David as their baby. “Come meet my new baby”, they would say. I found it awkward and it kind of bothered me inside but I just prayed in silence and smiled. I thought that I would rather be on their good side because eventually I would have to go and leave him with them.

I observed how the staff brought breakfast, lunch and dinner to the roommates, did their hygiene and treated them. David had a feeding tube that had been turned on and he was being turned sideways every two hours to protect him from bed sores. David kept looking at me every time someone would come in or attended to his care and I would just smile.

All of a sudden I became aware of the time. I had been so immersed in that day’s schedule I had totally forgotten it was almost time to say good night to David and leave. I wasn’t going to cry in front of him – I wanted to show myself strong and optimistic to encourage him to do the same. I played a spiritual instrumental music on a CD player until he fell asleep. Ana Carolina came to pick me up around 10:00pm. After 2 months next to David day and night, leaving him was so hard to do. I had to trust that David would be OK.

Aunt Flor

I got to Aunt Flor’s house where she had prepared a spare room for me to stay. I was so happy to see her. As I lay down, I set up the alarm for 5:00 am and I prayed myself to sleep.

From Aunt Flor’s house it took me around 15 minutes to get to the nursing home. As soon as I arrived, I rolled open the curtains and ran to give David a kiss. I had made it through the night without him. I knew it would get easier with time. I open the window blinds to let the sunshine in.

Eddy picked me up.

Just as Eddy had promised, he picked me up to visit other nursing homes. We were on a mission. We would not mention of our escapade to the current facility until we had all the needed paperwork to transfer David to a nicer looking long-term home. I continued to place everything in Mother Mary’s and Jesus’ hands. I only wanted to do God’s will.

The first facility we visited was part of the Jackson Memorial Hospital System, which meant that the transfer would possibly be smoother. The place was bright, big, the rooms where spacious and the facility was newer. There was a garden and a big therapy room. David’s name happened to be on the administrator’s list indicating that he had been scheduled to arrive at their facility, which brought tears of joy to my face. After a few phone calls, he proceeded to inform us that the health insurance would not allow for the transfer.

We then visited a nursing home in Coral Gables whose administrator explained our options and assured us that David would be well taken care of. The facility was impressively bright with wide screen TV’s, cable in every room, a well furnished dining room and lobby for the guests. I felt relieved. All we had to do was to sign paperwork and they would take care of the rest.

Eddy and I remained silent on our way back to the nursing home where David was. We sat in the car at the parking lot. There was a decision to be made. We prayed together. Then I asked Eddy, “What do you think?” He responded, “Mom, Jesus was born in a manger”. All of a sudden I felt this overwhelming peace which invaded my heart and I knew the answer. God could not speak any louder – we were at the right place. The decision was made… we stay!

Jesus was born in a manger.

Humility is the attribute of not thinking I am better than other people. If I have truly understood about being humble then I will find myself free from pride, self-importance, egotism, arrogance and from being conceited. Being humble encourages me to examine my motives and attitude. Humility is not a sign of weakness. Being humble I can be unafraid, courageous, brave and spirited and comfortable with whom I am in Christ. It is to recognize where my true strength lies. Being humble is recognizing my dependence in the Lord. It means to walk in the grace and love of God and help build others. True humility produces peace and joy even when I don’t achieve the results I am hoping for.

Quotes
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

(Romans 8:31; Philippians 2:3; James 4:6,10)

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Learning to trust.

12/18/2015

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Jackson Memorial Hospital

Word came that David was going to be moved again. The hospital’s representative in charge of the move came into the room and quickly looked at some of David’s equipment. As she rushed out of the room hinted that I get all my belongings together to leave the next day. I didn’t have a time of departure but she had mentioned morning so I immediately packed all of David and my stuff. I had heard that the family could stay at a room near the acute rehabilitation area close to their loved ones. We had been anticipating for this next step. I called everyone with the great news. David would be moving on his 28th Birthday.

The next morning I sang Happy Birthday to David and gave thanks to the Lord for his life. The staff came in to wish us well and to say their goodbyes. One of them recommended I check out the facility before leaving the hospital. At first her advice seemed strange until I learned it was not the acute rehab center David was being moved to but to a skilled nursing facility instead, which provided specialized care for those who needed long-term care to recover and were not able to be cared for at home.

Not only was I surprised and confused but I had this sense of urgency to find out the details of how and who had made the decision and what criterion was used for this determination. The hospital’s Psychologist came to talk to me and discussed the fact that paperwork stated David was at Rancho Scale 3 and the acute rehab required at least a 4. In addition to that, he explained that David could not keep his head up on his own and his response to showing tongue and 2 fingers was too slow to what it prevented his admission to the acute rehab center. With tears in my eyes, I insisted he verified David’s stage on the Rancho Scale and at my request he sent for a physical therapist to do the assessment.

As this was taking place, the floor staff was gathering all of David’s medical equipment, packing his medicines, and coordinating with the transportation crew. I prayed that the therapist would hurry up with the assessment so that the Psychologist would reverse the decision. As I had alleged - after the commands given to David by the therapist, he demonstrated to have reached stage 4. There was a moment of silence and then the Psychologist proceeded to rephrase earlier remarks and carried on with the task at hand of sending David off to the new facility. In my heart I realized paperwork had been done, the decision had been made and it was too late to make any changes. There was no use on keeping the Psychologist any longer listening to my plea. It satisfied me that he knew as well as I did that David had progressed. I thanked him for listening and he left.

I signed all the exit paperwork and waited for transportation to arrive. There was no time to say goodbye to all the wonderful people, which had become my family during these 2 months.

My trust had been placed on the Lord and this was the opportunity for me to show my faith in Him and to let go. I didn’t know what all of this meant but I was certain God was at our side. There had to be a purpose why all this was happening in the manner it was unfolding.

So many of David’s friends and colleagues continued to ask how he was doing. Eddy and Ana Carolina messaged everyone by phone and through Facebook that they would be celebrating David’s birthday at Segafredo that evening and invited all to join them. This would give them the chance to bring everyone up to date on David’s condition and answer any questions.

Around 7:00 pm the transportation crew came in with the stretcher. They carried a serious expression and no matter what I said, they only answered with a short yes or no. They didn’t seem interested in carrying on a conversation to what I refrained from initiating any and off we went to the new place on NW 22nd Ave. I had my bags on the back of the special van with David. It was the first time, he would experience being in a car and he just starred out the window with a nervous-fear like expression on his face. I assured him that everything would be all right as I caressed his hands.

JM Skilled Nursing facility.

When we arrived, I noticed the building was dark and not very appealing. The paint clearly indicated it was not well maintained. As we entered the facility, it was pretty quiet and only a few people were in the lobby who watched us head towards the elevator to the 2nd floor. No one spoke. Immediately exiting the elevator, the crew made a turn at the first room to the right. The room was dark and hospital cubicle curtains separated the room into 4 spaces. The corner to the left had the hospital bed overhead lights on, with a small chair and a table. As I scrutinized the room I noticed 3 other men already tucked in their beds. I had been told that David would be going to a private room, which had a couch for me to stay. My mind started analyzing the situation. If there were other men in the room, where would I be sleeping?

All of a sudden, 2 nurses and a CNA came in the room to welcome David. They introduced themselves and then continued to assure me they would take good care of David and that I didn’t have to worry about him. They mentioned this was David’s new home now and commented I could leave, that he was in good hands and that I could visit him at any time I wished to do so.

I went into a panic. This was not what I had planned. I had not been told I was leaving David. It had already been such a stressful and emotional day, I couldn’t believe this was happening. I broke down. I was crying so deeply it felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I picked up the phone and called Eddy. He said he was leaving Segafredo immediately to meet me at the nursing facility.

As they tried to console me, the night Supervisor came to see me and realized the situation. I begged her to allow me to stay and promised to remain very quiet. I explained how I felt blind-sided to it all and begged her to make an exception. She asked the other nurses to bring me a special chair so that I could sleep and apologized to me for the poor protocol on the hospital’s way of handling David’s exit. She asked for me to understand the exception she was making that evening but that I couldn’t stay after that. She reassured me I was welcome to visit David anytime. I hugged her and thanked her.
Eddy came in and assessed the situation. I broke down again but this time it was of joy of seeing him there. He offered to stay but I wasn’t emotionally ready to leave. Eddy told David that many of his friends came to his party and wished him well. He thanked everyone for allowing me to stay with David, I gave him a kiss and he left to join Ana Carolina.

It was David’s birthday. It felt as if I had been through labor pains
the entire day. One day I will be in the full light of our Lord and see the big picture but for now I was learning how to deeply trust God even when I couldn’t understand. I had to let go. I rolled the curtain, turned off the lights, stood still and quietly fell asleep.

Letting go is scary. Letting go doesn't mean we sit back and do nothing… we do our part. That which we have no control over we give it to God to handle. We let go of the feelings of unworthiness, the doubts, anxieties, the fears and worries. When I focused on how much God loves us it becomes easier to trust Him. Let go and let God.

We keep in our hearts and prayers so many special people at the Jackson Memorial ICU in Miami: Leo (PA), Leslie, Marbel, Katherine, Miguel and Jillian (RIP) and from the 9th floor so many to thank but specially: Irene, Mary K, Alex, Dexter, Natasha, Ivette and Michel. To priests Fr. Dominique and Fr. Martin thank you for your beautiful ministry and commitment.

(Psalms 46: 2-3; Proverbs 3:5-6)

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God's Footprints.

12/3/2015

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I left to Miami the next morning after dad’s funeral. So many different emotions dealt with. A part of my heart stayed behind and the other couldn’t wait to see David.

The pink chair was introduced to sit him semi-upright.

At the hospital, the CNA’s sat David up on a special chair, which we called the pink chair, because of the color. While they monitored his blood pressure, he would learn to remain semi-upright, as it helped to decrease any vertigo/dizzy spell he would be experiencing. CNA Irene became a dear one in our midst. She kept David as comfortable as possible.

The ninth floor staff would educate us further on signs to watch for. His hands would constantly tremble and it appeared that he would try to speak moving his tongue and lips. He wore a neck brace, which David did not like at all and attempted many times to convince everyone and anyone to take it off. He kept the brace until one afternoon Jorge realized it had slit opened his skin on the back of his head and never wore it again.

In one of Father Martin’s visits, we learned he had been the professor of Father Dominique, who we had hosted at home in one of his mission’s trip from Africa to the USA in 2005. What a small world. It felt as if God connected his dots wherever it was needed.
How many special people we continue to meet.

David’s old work team at Bayside Hut in Key Biscayne visited and related stories of their “super boss”. His bosses at Segafredo-Brickell visited him with their families one afternoon and lead a powerful and beautiful prayer filled with genuine affection. We continuously recognized the grace of being part of a community that gave, cared and loved.

Many times I would meditate on a need or a personal desire and prayed about it and soon enough someone dear or new would appear with the answer or support. This caused me to suggest how God moves our hearts for one another to answer a prayer and it is up to us to respond to the movement in our hearts. It makes us participants of the wonders and miracles we so long await for. It also made me reflect on the times we are so entertained with noise or so fixed on our concerns that we miss becoming that piece of the puzzle in someone’s life. And then what about those who are indifferent or don’t believe in God. Is everyone capable of being receptive to the movement of God’s voice or Spirit?

On June 20th, as we were practicing some sounds with David, he started moving his toes followed by moving both legs bending his knees. I ran to record it. We starred and hoped he could repeat it, especially on command. This meant for us the possibility of moving into the acute rehabilitation area where he would learn how to walk, talk and regain all the muscle control to live a normal life and become independent again.

That same week I had the most beautiful dream. My dad opened the room door and walked towards David to fix his head straight on his pillow. I told dad he looked so handsome and he just smiled at me and left. When I woke up all I could think of was about this great feeling of contentment.

On June 26, they changed his tracheotomy tube, which had a cap on, designed to help with the sounds of speech. Things were looking bright. The speech therapist visited us and gave us daily homework to stimulate and increase his mouth sensory awareness.

My partner, best friend and husband Jorge.

Life started to take shape for all of us as we struggled with the changes and emotions of the day-to-day challenges and progress. Ana Carolina, Eddy and wife Karina shared an apartment in Coral Gables where Jorge would stay as he traveled back and forth from Orlando and Miami once or twice a week. I remember waiting anxiously to see Jorge and literally crying to see him go. He was now the only one working. I knew he had to go to work but my heart wished he wouldn’t have to leave. Even though we were only 4 hours away it was hard and different to juggle life far from each other.

Ana Carolina & Eddy

As weeks went by, the room in the 9th floor became my special corner. In the middle of the noises and the in and out visits of nurses and doctors, I reflected about life; that we are just specs in the universe; and on what is the meaning of life without love and helping each other. How I was so vulnerable and emotionally delicate yet I felt strong and purposeful every day ready to do what was in store moment-by-moment. This fortitude and strength of mind carried me from the morning until I would fall asleep. The “Footprints in the Sand” poem connected and continuously spoke to my heart. The Lord was certainly carrying me.

Trusting in the Lord, working wholehearted with what is at hand, emerging unconditionally into your present reality provides an empowerment, which can ultimately define a stronger better tomorrow.

(Isaiah 25:1; Proverbs 4:25)

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Departures-Moving on.

11/15/2015

While sisters Noemy and Gaby arranged dad’s wake service and funeral mass back home, I coordinated things in Miami with Jorge, who happened to be with us that week, and he stayed with David at the hospital. Mom flew back to Orlando and chose the scripture readings, the music and prayer for the memorial card.

Coming into the house was difficult. Where we had gathered 6 weeks ago to celebrate my graduation, we now mourned our father’s passing. Hearts were heavy. Not having to think what to wear - just anything black - was such a relief. All I wanted to do was to see him at the funeral home.

Rev. Fidel Rodriguez

The funeral mass at Sts. Peter & Paul was solemnized by Father Fidel, who God had used in such a jubilant way to welcome my father back to church. Dad had been longing to fully participate in mass and after a long visit with Fr. Fidel, he renewed his spirit at church and met wonderful people in his new faith community. At the mass, in a heartfelt manner, Fr. Fidel conveyed dad’s God-given gifts and how he shared that gift with others, how an earthly journey ended and a new life in God began. His prayers filled us with hope and his compassion demonstrated the unique bond they had built with each other.

Family and friends came to DeGusipe Funeral home in Maitland to say their goodbyes and accompany us in prayer and solidarity. As I walked towards the casket where dad laid so handsomely dressed in a white suit with David’s wooden cross in his hands, my heart pounded stronger and stronger as I got closer. On my drive from Miami, I thought of what I wanted to say. But then, as I kneeled in front of his body, I didn’t say anything. The experience substantiated what I had learned - that human souls are separated from their bodies when we die. I know it may sound strange but I was taken back for a moment. Dad wasn’t there. I don’t know or recall what I had anticipated but the experience completely transformed my perspective of life and death. Maybe it was because dad’s funeral was the first one I had ever attended of a close loved one.

My sisters had arranged a table with some of dad’s special belongings and a breathtaking power point, with lots of pictures, which included everyone.

I reflected on what I had learned and believed how when we die, we return to the point of origin, with our Creator. How saints believed they would meet their loved ones in heaven or pick them up to bring them to heaven. For example, “on her death bed, St. Thérèse of Lisieux promised her Sisters: “I’ll still be even more with you than I was before; I’ll not leave you. I will watch over Uncle and Aunt, over my little Lèonie, over all of you. When they are ready to enter heaven, I’ll go very quickly to meet them.” (The Integrated Catholic Faith, Sr. Marie Morgan, OSF).

Deacon Scott Lindeman

Sts. Peter & Paul’s Deacon Scott officiated the service with genuine sympathy. His warm words touched all of our hearts and comforted us. It made me ponder that even though death is inescapable it is also a doorway into eternal life. My brother Carlos, sister Gaby, brother-in-law Hector and a few others spoke at the service. Eddy read David’s letter and uncle Luis Suarez recollected special moments with dad and shared how much he admired and loved him as the older brother. Dad would have liked his celebration. Now we would plan and coordinate for his burial in Miami.

Carlos words to dad at the Wake Service.

Aunt Mary, dad & Uncle Luis in the 70's.

After all was concluded, we went back home and recaptured events with mom. We laughed and cried, we shared memories, pictures, feelings, and the “to dos” for the near future. Mom would fly back to Michigan, Noemy & Hector back to Ohio, Lucy was in Chicago, Gaby was relocating down south Florida, and I was to go back to Miami and focus on David’s recovery. Fernando would stay home with dad’s assistant Josuan and Jorge would travel once or twice a week to work in Orlando and back to Miami to see us. Nephews, sons, daughter, cousins, aunts and uncles head back to their daily routines and responsibilities.

My brother Carlos picked up dad’s briefcase, bundled his dog “Cha Cha” and flew back to Puerto Rico with sister-in-law Haydee to continue dad’s legacy.

It was time to go home. Our new “normal” had to sink in and life had to move on.

How great it is that we will reunite with our loved ones when our earthly living concludes. Our prayers for souls can help them achieve heaven. The souls in purgatory cannot pray for themselves but can intercede for those on earth. We will stay connected even when we are gone. Dad, pray for us.

(1 Thessalonians 4:13-14; CCC 366; CCC 997; CCC 958)

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My son, David Arroyo and I, Ana Curras, collaborate together. This is our story. Our story because we are connected. We all are. When you hurt, I hurt, when you succeed, I succeed, when you have joy, I do too. It's in our design as human beings. Our story is intended to give hope, joy, encouragement and light. We pray to be inspired by our Creator, guided by Jesus Christ, moved by the Holy Spirit and accompanied by our Mother Mary.
We believe.

NOTE: Bible verses referred to in each post are linked to open to the verses for your convenience.

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